The weight of holiday

My December 25 had a few hiccups.  Conversation was good.  Tamales and queso were good.  Laughter was plentiful and good.  But there were some moments when temptation pulled me back.  Glimpses of past sin ran amok.  On the outside, I smiled, and I truly loved every minute I spent with my daughters.  On the inside, doubt began to brew.  Doubt as to whether I had a right to any ounce of goodness in this world.  Doubt as to whether joy and laughter with my kids should be mine to experience at all.  Thoughts flitted and swirled and sucked me into a hurricane of guilt.  Slowly I sank underneath the weight of divorce.  But right there, the Lord came to my rescue.  He led me to Psalm 103:12, which says, “as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.”  And His voice rang like a trumpet loud and clear.  The air became clean and crisp, and I could breathe.  The Lord won.  My sin would not steal my joy.  And this year how wonderful was Christmas Day to know the Lord’s love.