Friday, September 8, 2017

Self-doubt & hospice

Ever wonder about your purpose in life?  Does the thought ever hit you, “What am I doing?” or “How did I get here?”  Sometimes it helps to retrace my steps.  Four months ago, I began volunteering with hospice.  I loved the idea from the start, but once finally meeting my patients, a day came that I suddenly panicked.  My confidence vanished.  I lacked any solid sense of how to greet and lead conversation.  Questions of self-doubt crept in.  Yet I remembered praying long before.  Before answering that VolunteerMatch inquiry, before completing that very lengthy volunteer application, before consenting to a background check, before driving to meet my volunteer coordinator for the first time, I asked the Lord to guide any decisions about where I should be.  And to recall that sequence of events, recognizing again that it was all predicated on prayer, helped to reassure me that I was in the right place.  Coming to mind also was Matthew 10:19, which tells us, “. . . do not worry about what to say or how to say it.  At that time you will be given what to say, for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.”  Even though Jesus spoke these words to the apostles about circumstances of arrest, I trust the message translates to other settings.  In my situation of hospice, indeed the Lord provided.  He supplied joy in visiting my patients, inspiring me with words to say and songs to sing, refreshing me with new amazement for seeing Him at work.  So when you next sense any self-doubt approaching, may you trust in His word.  May you seek His deliverance, knowing He saves us once unto eternity, yet He saves us over and over for His daily purposes on this earth.