Gift of scarves

To buy a friend some scarves.  It’s such a simple thing.  Yet such immense pleasure came in the shopping.  One light blue, one black, one reddish brown, each scarf in a fun print that would look so sweet on her.  YouTube has lots of good ideas, whether wearing for beauty or for warmth.  Even hours of deliberating over fabric brought such joy, just hoping to remind my friend that she’s loved and that she's not alone.  Cancer is a big word.  It’s a heavy word.  When my friend hurts, so do I.  When she loses her hair, I want to take away her pain.  I ask the Lord to heal her and lift her from sadness and show me a way to help.  When talking about the body of Believers, 1 Corinthians 12:26 says, “If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.”  So I continue to pray for the Lord's presence upon my friend.  His power surpasses all.  His love transcends.

Precious trip to the bank

Just a quick stop at the bank.  I entered the building, signed in, started assembling a cup of coffee, and heard my name called.  The man ushered me into his office and took care of my question, then asked, "May I update your account profile?"  I obliged, and he continued, "You work in theatre?"  "Yes," I said.  He paused from his keyboard to look up, "That's cool."  Smiling, he scrolled down my profile to verify address and phone, then returned to the theatre idea, "How did you get into theatre?"  He pursued, "How did you audition?"  Still again, "If you audition for one part, but it doesn't fit, do they give you another part?"  He dispatched a whole series of inquiries, and I realized the Lord was orchestrating this remarkable opportunity for dialogue that ultimately begged only one answer:  Jesus.  Five years ago, as the theatre idea first pressed within me, I prayed, "Lord, what is this?  What do I do?  Where are You asking me to go?"  I soon found myself transported into the world of theatre and a whole new set of blessings.  Today's trip to the bank was opportunity to encourage this man in his own personal walk with the Lord, whether involving theatre or anything else.  Such delight in letting him know that the Lord has a joyful plan for his life.  So precious to acquaint people with the name of Christ and invite them to experience the Lord's love first-hand.  We're told in 1 Peter 3:15, ". . . Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have . . ."  Are we ready?

Different Jericho, different trumpet

A different kind of idea ran through my head.  Actually it made me a bit nervous, in a good way.  New ideas tend to do that, at least the ones the Lord plants in me.  So I was certain to ask Him, “Lord, is this of You?”  I’d never taken my flute to the abortion center before.  My time there had ebbed and flowed over the years due to work schedule and various things, and lately I’d been driving there on Tuesdays to pray.  I occupy the public sidewalk in front, between the parking lot and the street, in case anyone reconsiders their decision and wants a prayer companion or a listening ear.  And so now, as I'm thinking through this new idea, which is to take my flute and play “Jesus Loves the Little Children,” I realize it's a rather simple task.  Yet I wondered, “What will people think of the flute?  Will someone say I'm too loud?  Will they tell me to quit playing?  What if I disrupt someone else's prayer?"  Temptation came in many forms, yet I decided to take the flute with me.  I knew the honks and screeches of the nearby street could easily drown out my tiny melody.  No one but me and the Lord might hear the song.  As it turned out, one girl smiled to greet me, “Oh, are you playing today?  I wish I thought of something like that.”  Then another chimed in, “I’m so glad you brought your music.”  And as it seemed the Lord had nestled me within the encouragement of others, I proceeded to play unto Him.  I loved Him for walking with me down this new road.  That day and many Tuesdays since then, I've recalled the story of Jericho.  In Joshua 6, the Lord instructs Joshua to march with his men around the city and sound their trumpets.  Certainly my flute is not the first instrument the Lord has called to purpose.  Certainly my circumstances are not the first to be viewed as different or strange.  And as Joshua's obedience to the Lord led him to victory, we can be confident our obedience will yield blessing as well.

Ocean of blessing

Take everything to the Lord.  The little.  The big.  The happy.  The sad.  Celebrate with Him.  Cry with Him.  Every decision.  Every thought.  “Lord, lead me today.  Guide me.  Purify me and set me on Your path.”  This testimony follows on the heels of my feeling hounded by decision-making.  I felt worn.  Unwanting of any more, I sensed my composure caving in.  And as the pressure of more decisions heaped on, I saw the Lord go to battle on my account.  The first involved my volunteer role with girls who have been abused.  I love these girls deeply.  I feel privileged and hugely blessed to serve them.  My difficulty lay among canceled appointments, rescheduling, extra phone calls, court dates, and longer driving distances.  I felt stretched on time and unsure of how everything could fit together.  I pleaded, "Lord, what is my role here?  Please make these decisions for me.”  Then in the midst of initiating one of those extra phone calls, I suddenly realized peace.  Anxiety floated away.  I smiled in quiet rejoice of knowing the Lord's presence.  Next was my job with theatre.  Staring at numerous rehearsal and performance changes, again I asked the Lord to walk with me.  “Lord, speak from my mouth when to say ‘yes’ and when to say ‘no.’”  Then as conversation commenced and carried on, I felt the stress in my shoulders dissipating.  The Lord had delivered me once again, dispelling my discouragement.  Next was our trip to Port Aransas.  For my husband especially, this weekend away was a welcome thought.  Such delight we took in imagining the ocean and a picturesque walk on the beach.  And then came a phone message from the condo office forewarning us about roof repairs and hammering noise and the possibility of the air conditioner turning off, and suddenly I’m screaming “Ahhhhhh!”  But my husband swoops in to tell me not to cancel the reservation because our room is on the first floor.  Hammering on the fifth-floor roof shouldn’t be burdensome down at the bottom.  And I then recalled praying all those weeks ago about which room to book.  The Lord in His omniscience knew all about these roof repairs, and He took care of us.  Psalm 55:22 says, “Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.”  And on this day these words lived out a depth of blessing.  With immense pleasure I paused to kneel, to bow, to raise my hands to celebrate His victory.  How precious is this freedom He gives that we may ask Him to take our anxieties.  Let Him shepherd us.  Let Him save us all over again each new day.

Lyrically stifled

Back in June, we had some curious musical things happen.  I remember connecting eyes with my husband as confusion whirled, and he knew I needed him to step in.  Why couldn’t I sing the next stanza?  This was a song we’ve led for years.  Yet he moved toward the mic and carried us into the chorus.  Guitar and song fell back into place, and we kept going.  But then it happened again, only in reverse.  This time it was my husband whose words fell unexpected.  He’s speaking between songs, and my heart begins to flutter.  Somehow the fluttering becomes panic, yet still I see no astonished faces in the congregation.  Perhaps the Lord is garnering only our attention.  But what’s going on?   Why wouldn’t my eyes let me move past that first stanza?  We were scheduled to sing again in 2 more weeks, and as that day approached and unfolded, the sequence of events proved similar.  What was it about Wednesdays?  Singing on Saturdays brought none of this awkwardness.  So I told our friend who schedules Wednesday music to hold off on scheduling us for a while.  We would finish out July as she had already included us, but for August onward, I wanted to be available to the Lord.  I needed Him to settle my heart.  And soon a very interesting conversation came.  As back in May a friend had posed the idea of conducting parenting classes to help some younger moms, and as weeks had passed since then, she wanted to know now if I could host the classes 4:00 – 6:00 on Wednesdays.  And right there I’m pretty sure I froze.  My ears, my brain, and my heart all took a sudden leap to rejoice.  Was this what the Lord was preparing me for?  Had He been clearing my music commitments on Wednesdays so I’d be available to conduct these classes?  It’s interesting that never again did we encounter any awkward musical moments.  Fulfilling our commitments for July, it seemed once I decided to decline any further music scheduling, the Lord had no need to garner my attention anymore.  He made His point.  And our parenting classes have been happening for 4 months now on different days of the week, but most consistently on Wednesdays.  And so I thank the Lord for those awkward moments back in June.  As His ways can be mysterious, they are perfect.  When we earnestly seek Him, He makes sure we find Him.  Second Corinthians 3:3 tells us we are letters from Christ “written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.”  Each of our experiences with Him is uniquely fashioned.  Each translates to us and to the world His desire to supply for our every step.  What is the Holy Spirit writing on your heart?

Mending Fence

I always liked Frost’s “Mending Wall.”  Every year my eighth-graders conjured a rather robust discussion of walls and fences.  Quite surprising, some might say, yet these students aptly posed and pondered a smart sampling of good and bad reasons that people have barriers.  Last Saturday the poem resurfaced as my husband and I rebuilt a gate.  The old, rotten slats had lost most of their strength, falling victim to a frustrated meter reader who pulled off the metal handle, leaving rusted nails exposed among teetering wood.  We unhinged it all and started from scratch.  Measuring, sawing, nailing, we hung the new wood but with unexpected pause.  I peered through partial slats with a pleasure I hadn’t known before.  A host of thoughts converged.  “May we put larger gaps between the slats?” I asked my husband.  A new sight of pastoral green captured me for a moment, as the old gate’s slats had been flush, without gaps, and you couldn’t see through.  This new view offered a stillness, a serenity.  And I remembered my eighth-graders discussing.  “Before I built a wall I’d ask to know what I was walling in or walling out,” Frost said.  And did we have any real requirement now to “wall in” the grass?  No neighboring livestock to separate from.  No real need.  Instead of closing doors, in this case a gate, to keep people out, the Bible tells us to go into the world.  Jesus says in Mark 16:15, “Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation.”  I didn’t want to shut people out.  This peaceful new green could remind us all of life and hope.  In John 10:9 Jesus says, “I am the gate, whoever enters through me will be saved.  He will come in and go out, and find pasture.”  And so my husband agreed to widen the gate’s gaps.  Now I walk to that side of the house more often because of the pleasure it brings.  I never knew replacing a gate would deliver such delight.  Lord, let our doors and gates swing open.  Let the world see the peace You bring.

Grocery store message

Last month we set out on a leisurely trip that turned out not so leisurely.  Stopping by the grocery store, we traipsed the aisles for milk and vegetables and ventured toward the cashier, only to realize a new idea pressing my heart.  As our items tallied from the conveyor belt, I saw the boy bagging groceries and felt compelled to ask him something.  Silently I prayed, “Lord, lead me.”  Suddenly this wage of war took place within.  Temptation NOT to ask versus compulsion TO ask.  And beginning to feel this spiritual battle’s heat, I examined my own priority, “Whom do I aim to please?  Man, or God?”  And then it happened.  The boy opened our conversation, saying “How has your weekend been?”  I shook my head, “Today we visited our nephew who’s very sick.”  He reassured, “I bet your nephew was happy to see you.”  I added, “We were glad to see him.  I prayed with him.  The good part is that he knows Jesus.”  And then came what had pressed on my heart.  I asked the boy, “Do you know Jesus?”  Aware this question tends to bring strong responses, I waited to see.  My point was simply to follow the prompting in my heart, which I trusted was the Lord’s.  The boy smiled to answer, “Yes, I do.  I go to church every Sunday.”  And while I was happy for the boy, I was also puzzled.  Why might the Lord prompt me to ask this question to someone who already knows Him?  There seemed no invitation for me to offer anyone.  Why the intense internal battle?  Perhaps this boy had his own spiritual battle waging.  Maybe the Lord connected us because our roles in battle served to encourage each other.  Or could my question have sparked the curiosity of someone else listening in the store?  All I know is that in following the Lord this day, my heart felt such pleasure.  To lay personal worries aside, to gauge the worst possible outcome against the best possible, to choose God’s purpose above mine, it’s all blessing.  It's as if the Lord is traffic cop of our thoughts, allowing one thought to pass through but not the next, as if holding up His white glove to let one lane prevail over the other, in the end letting His will win over temptation.  Seeking Him blesses us as well as our world.  Isaiah 55:8-9 says, “ ‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord.  ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.’ ”  What joy we find in trusting Him.

Lost at the medical tower

What a good feeling to help someone.  My fellow volunteer and I stopped to talk at a bench in the medical office tower.  We noticed a girl entering the lobby, then exiting, then re-entering.  She explained her trouble in finding the LabCorp office, and so we endeavored to lend a hand.  In the course of the next hour, we saw a whole team come together to aid this girl who recently moved from Colorado.  Quite an army that the Lord orchestrated.  Quite a plan of rescue.  First, a maintenance man tried to help.  Then, my friend and I took a turn as hospital volunteers.  Next, a nursing director who made a phone call from within the second hospital connected across the parking garage.  Then, another employee who heard the director talking and chimed in to guide us to the covered walkway to LabCorp.  And as we finally arrived at LabCorp, all smiles, we saw the empty office, which meant no waiting for us, and I offered to stay through her test to help her retrace our trail back to our original lobby.  And glad to say, our trek back was pretty straightforward.  And I kept thinking the rest of the day what a delight it was to step into her world and away from any personal rat race of my own.  How faithful was the Lord to create this amazing sequence of connections, all on account of one child praying to her Father for help.  And from my side, my prayer that morning had been for Him to set me on His path and use me for His purposes.  First Peter 4:9-10 tells us, “Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.  Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.”  We are indeed blessed to serve beyond ourselves.  Amen.

Regular job, or not?

Jobs.  They tire us.  They make us crazy.  But how would we spend our time if we didn’t have 40+ hours of work?  To contemplate a major change can rack the nerves.  But actually the whole of our identity isn't in the occupation.  There can be good in not being strapped to the rigors of 8 to 5.  And really the key is in our perspective of the command post.  We’re used to our tasks being humanly handed down by the man in the suit, the lady in heels, or whoever's carrying the clipboard.  But now the day is entirely open, and we can choose our Commander.  Hebrews 11:6 says the Lord rewards those who earnestly seek Him.  So we can ask God to set us in motion, upon His purposes, whether using us full- or part-time, paid or volunteer.  For me, while switching from business person to stay-at-home mom to teacher to writer to musician to actor and more, I've felt the anxiety of transition, yet I testify that life's been very exciting and immensely blessed.  Just this summer, as my theatre work is typically less, I've asked the Lord to order my steps, and He has given me new avenues to pursue.  For example, I've reconnected as volunteer to help sexual abuse victims.  It's a slightly different role this time, so I'm enduring some nervousness for what's new.  I'm continuing to pray into the very moment, remembering that when I volunteer, the Lord always keeps money in our bank account with one of His supernatural paychecks.  And He's given new amazement for watching Him orchestrate details.  What a precious privilege.  Regular job, or not, with the Lord at our helm, there's an ultimate calm upon the waters.  May we embark upon our days very intentionally as He sends us out to share His love with the world.

Fiancée & baby

What is this?  Everywhere I keep hearing about fiancées.  I finished an episode of Undercover Boss where the employee explained about his fiancée and new baby.  Then I talked with a college student who told about his fiancée being pregnant.  And along the way, day to day, it seems I’m within ever-increasing earshot of couples who are pregnant while planning their dream wedding.  And the emphasis on “dream wedding” catches my ear.  The word fiancée implies intent to marry, which can seem a happy occasion.  But something’s missing.  Used to be that people lived together, unmarried, but without mention of planning a wedding because they didn’t desire to marry.  Today I’m realizing more people seeming interested in marriage, at least to the point of saying fiancée instead of girlfriend, yet why do they wait?  Is it all the TV design shows that make weddings look so elaborate?  Have we been convinced it's worth postponing just to gain a higher price tag?  I’m curious.  While 1 Corinthians 6 talks about sexual immorality, and chapter 7 talks about marriage, verse 6:20 bridges the two, saying “Therefore honor God with your body.”  And so therein rests our real purity of purpose.  For whatever reason we’ve misprioritized the fancy frills of a wedding, it's not too late to re-start.  The Lord offers us a clean slate and a new beginning.  And how I love Him for His ready forgiveness.

Theatre license with a twist

Gasp!  Aahhhhh!  Only 2 driver’s licenses in my hand!  I left the car with 3, and what happened?  I retraced my steps down the hall, out the school and onto the sidewalk, across the parking lot and back to the car.  No license in the front seat where I’d been sitting.  Not in my purse.  Not anywhere.  Until my coworker exclaims, “Here it is!”  And slowing in near disbelief, I question, “In the backseat?!  How did it get there?”  My coworker adds, “I never saw it drop back here!”  It was by her feet on the floor on the passenger side.  And what really happened?  I still don’t know.  But each time I rethink this scenario, I ponder a larger picture.  Returning to the moment I realized my license missing, I remember inquiring of people along the way.  In the school office, I left a message, and one worker said she’d notify Maintenance, just in case they found something.  At the table of PTA ladies in the hallway, I stopped to ask if anyone turned in a stray license.  Afterward while still searching outside, I had one of the ladies so kindly approach me, “Did you ever find your license?”  I replied, “No.  I’m still looking.  I’m asking the Lord to show it to me.”  And after she left campus to go home, I kept wondering if this lady was going to have something come up lost in her future.  Could the Lord be speaking into her by illustrating with my scenario?  Was He preparing her to seek Him later for her loss?  Initially my panic over the license conjured nightmares of identity theft.  Waiting in line to replace my license would be such a hassle.  But that's all selfish on my part.  Sure, it’s possible the Lord mysteriously let my license land in the backseat, all for greater purpose beyond me. Sometimes we don’t see mysteries solve out because the greater purpose isn’t in our realm.  Yet even for the narrower view here, I love that the Lord came to my rescue.  This is one of many theatre trips with an interesting twist.  Luke 19:10 reads with broader meaning now, “For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost.”

Valvoline: Deeper thought

Does anybody really work anymore?  Here’s why I ask.  Last week I drove over to our local Valvoline for the annual inspection on my car.  A bunch of us customers just started casually talking, and suddenly I felt my heart take a serious look into the way I live.  We all sat there for the same reason:  Because we preferred to pay Valvoline to do our work.  One lady said she also wanted Valvoline to change her oil.  Another lady wanted to find a good place to get her car washed.  Then came mention of locating a reliable lawn service.  Then still, someone was going by the salon to get her fingernails painted.  Add to all that, the fact that almost any place on the planet you can hear someone talking about eating out, and finally all this talk of paying other people to cook and clean and work for us became quite noticeable to me.  It's like buying clothes and realizing we're actually hiring someone else to do our sewing.  And the list goes on and on and on to the point of sounding like we don’t do any work ourselves because we’re always paying someone else.  When we buy books, aren’t we really paying someone else to write?  Aren’t we paying school taxes and tuition for someone else to teach our children?  And if we’re paying out all this money for other people’s work, when is it that we do any work?  The physical energy of work can be cleansing.  I remember the words of my aunt who taught decades of school children.  She told of the difference she saw when kids could no longer safely walk to school.  Students began arriving campus all pent-up because they just hopped out of the car instead of walking out their energy.  And it makes sense.  Second Thessalonians 3 tells us:  “If a man will not work, he shall not eat.”  So we know work can be a good thing.  And as this chapter 3 cautions against idleness and becoming a busybody, which is not a good thing, I've been looking introspectively to examine the types of work I do.  Sometimes my husband and I tackle a new project when we’re stressed.  Recently painting our kitchen cabinets, we knew the physical motion of taking out the paintbrushes and manually disassembling the doors helped us to unwind.  The process of rotating the screwdrivers and removing the hinges ourselves allows the emotions to release, much like the children whose walking helped them unwind before school.  And if we pay someone else to do all our work, we miss out.  In fact, our next home project is painting the fascia boards outside, and it’ll definitely involve some sweat, but it’ll also have that element of good in its physicality.  And so I wonder, how many other jobs should I consider doing on my own instead of paying someone else?  Could there be a a new task coming your way as well?

Musical redemption

What could go wrong?  It’s just a voicemail.  Just listen real quick.  But in actuality, the message threw me a curve.  It rattled me.  The delight I’d known 5 minutes ago had been invaded.  And the evening that began with thrilling moments musically now held tainted air.  We had met with friends for new music—new instrumentation, new combinations, new blends.  Having waited more than a year for this to happen, and having prayed about joining them on oboe in particular, I figure my giddiness showed.  Joy ran deep.  Would we also use piano?  What about voices?  Still some questions, yet we met, and things fell in place almost effortlessly.  Humility was key for setting such a worshipful tone.  But then after rehearsal was when the voicemail came.  A whole big complicated message that rattled the rafters.  So I stepped away to find quiet.  “Lord, settle my heart,” I prayed.  “Let nothing keep me from You.  If Satan is twisting and destroying this, may You prevent him.”  And what ensued was amazing.  Music restarted, and there was a point in one song where I played an F.  On oboe, it’s the F on the top line of the treble clef.  This F had something different about it.  The way the pitch centered.  The strength of air pressing in.  The nuances of the note I knew from having played thousands and thousands of Fs over the years.  The Lord gift-wrapped that F with the prettiest paper and glittery bow.  In that F, He returned to me the calm and intimacy I treasured before the voicemail.  All the while playing, my heart beamed for knowing His faithfulness in answering my prayer and coming to my rescue once again.  Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”  May we never doubt Him.  May you and I both call upon Him.  May you experience His love today.  

Email revival

Emails.  Do they weigh you down?  I’m looking to click through mine pretty fast.  Get them finished.  But these certain ones have kept me in their grasp.  They’re from Messianic Bible.  They’re full of verses and Middle East current events and notes of Jewish life.  Very nicely written.  Wonderfully valuable.  And actually I’m the one who signed up for them.  But they’re long.  I have difficulty keeping up.  In time I have a heavy backlog weighing on me.  Then one day I gained new perspective.  I credit the Lord for resolving my problem, and really He must’ve changed more than my eyes.  He must've reached into my heart.  And what He showed was to look at these emails not as emails.  Sounds so simple.  Instead, look at them as time to study the Bible.  Just unplug the laptop and take it to the table.  Find a pen, open the Bible, and my mindset starts to ease.  In resetting the stage, or in moving to a different stage, I’m no longer hurried and pressed to click ‘delete.’  No longer is this a housekeeping task but rather a pleasure of the heart.  Psalm 26:2-3 reminds me, “Test me, O Lord, and try me, examine my heart and my mind; for your love is ever before me, and I walk continually in your truth.”  Just as David sought the Lord in these verses, so may you and I seek Him to keep fine-tuning us, to uncover even our smallest nooks and crannies in need of His perspective.  May He bless you and refresh your walk today.

MiniDisc mania

Gasp!  What just happened?!*  My whole body froze.  My theatre director and I looked at each other.  Yes, that was the Lord answering our prayer.  And in dramatic form.  All these years our MiniDisc player had stayed alive.  And when something keeps working, you tend to leave it alone and not interfere.  But now our theatre group felt a bit panicked.  Pressing as many combinations of the MiniDisc’s buttons as we knew, yet finding none to any avail, and rechecking our electronics across the board, we finally resigned ourselves to the idea of performing without music.  Saddened to think students wouldn't experience the full thrill of the chase scene, imagining them without music for the dances and songs as well, we needed to move forward.  I’d walked out front to explain to a teacher about lighting during performances.  I saw a single-file line of children approaching the stage area.  Time was tight.  We had reset behind the backdrop, yet while glancing at the MiniDisc player a final time, suddenly we saw something new.  The digital numbers for the music started counting off.  Music appeared to be processing.  We soon heard piano sounds overhead, and that's when my director and I looked at each other.  Yes, this is really happening!  The Lord breathed life into the old MiniDisc player we thought sang its last note.  And without thinking twice, all of who I was in that moment knelt before the Lord.  There in front of the MiniDisc player, I gave thanks for this sweet gift of the Lord.  It wasn’t that ours was any life-threatening situation, for we certainly could’ve performed without the music.  Yet He chose to answer our prayer.  I sensed it was simply because He loves to bless those who are His.  And how I love Him all the more for delighting to provide.  He is alive.  He is our Father.  In the form of Christ, He walked this earth and is our Savior.  As the Holy Spirit, He is our constant Counselor and Comforter of the heart.  Jesus tells us in John 14:19, “. . . Because I live, you also will live.”  And as I smile to relive these moments at this school, and as I love to re-experience the burst of joy becoming my own gasp, I testify that the Lord enlivens me.  May you and I recognize the blessings He bestows upon us today.

TurboTax

Taxes.  What to do?  Where in TurboTax do you enter this one last tortuous number?  That was us in our living room a couple of weeks ago.  Frustration rising.  On the verge of screaming.  And actually TurboTax has been good to us.  But somehow this year we had one spot of trouble related to foreign tax.  Noticing my husband's anxiety about to erupt, I inquired, “Have you asked the Lord?”  His answer:  “No.”  So I prayed.  “Lord, help!  Please point us to the section we need in order to finish these taxes.”  And then we kept hunting.  Not here.  Not there.  Check again.  Still not here.  Still not there.  A gruff mumbling burdened the room.  But then an interruption.  I looked up to a stunning glow upon my husband’s face.  A radiant beam of relief, of immense thanks, almost unbelief.  That seemingly endless string of computer clicks and searching all around had now sorted.  It was solved.  Finished.  The Lord had shown us where to enter that last number.  And there my knee hit the floor to offer Him a truly huge thank-you.  How easily any of us can fall into the danger of tackling a task on our own.  Then when the unexpected problem hits, we sink into feeling weary, leaving us blinded from inviting the Lord's presence.  And so I am humbled by this experience with our taxes.  And I wonder too for your sake, how does this story translate?  Are you facing a problem?  Some kind of dreaded task staring you down?  I encourage you to seek the Lord.  Proverbs 19:23 says, “The fear of the Lord leads to life:  then one rests content, untouched by trouble.”

Learn Russian?

Why learn Russian?  Will I ever use it?  The idea hit months ago.  And I asked the Lord.  I enjoy reviewing my Russian language notes from our trip to Israel in October.  Our translator taught me words like privyet and spasiba, and when I talk with her on Skype now, I try to still use them.  One day I dialed up YouTube and learned menya zovut.  When I checked it with my translator friend, she verified that it does mean 'my name is.'  Then my theatre group performed at a local school, and as we met the cafeteria staff providing lunch, how fun to meet a man from Russia and be able to tell him spasiba (thank you) for the meal.  One day with church, I smiled to say privyet to greet my Russian friend and was pleasantly surprised to learn we have a new family too with ties to Russia.  And as recently as this Friday, I was at the grocery store and heard a man and a woman speaking a language that could’ve been Russian.  Seems I keep asking the Lord, and circumstances keep me in earshot of the language.  Certainly nothing's felt discouraging in any way.  So still, as much as I’d love to return to Israel, will the Lord call me again to visit the Holocaust survivors there who speak Russian?  Or could He be connecting me with an entirely new group of Russian speakers?  Yesterday I ordered my public library’s only Russian language book:  The complete idiot’s guide to learning Russian.  I’m diving in.  No set schedule.  No pressure.  And I'm happy about it.  May the Lord keep my eyes open.  And how exciting if all this leads up to meeting someone new at the library too.

Flecks in the paint

Be patient.  Don’t touch.  If a little fleck flies into the paint, just leave it alone.  Later when the cabinet door is all dry, the fleck lifts out in a snap.  We’re using oil-based paint for our kitchen cabinets.  Too many times already, I’ve tried to fix a spot and felt that dreaded drag of the brush.  But today we had warm weather, and I lined up 7 new doors.  A new batch.  A new outlook.  My mission:  Don’t try to touch up.  Let the imperfections sit.  It’s much easier to touch up after the main coat dries.  It’s kind of like life.  Every fleck of discomfort we want to fix.  Every unknown we want to figure out right then.  But sometimes it’s good to wait.  See what God has in store.  Ask Him to give wisdom and show what to do.  Isaiah 30:18 says, “Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion.  For the Lord is a God of justice.  Blessed are all who wait for him!”  May we remember He can have good reason for those flecks to sit a while.  He might incorporate those flecks into a new and beautiful blessing.

Sickly haircut

It can happen in the humdrum part of life.  Even when you’re sick.  Somehow when we’re least expecting it, God shows us new purpose.  Case in point, I recently walked into Supercuts.  Having been stuck at home for 4 days with allergy problems, I finally ventured out.  Just happy to see the outside world, I sought simply a haircut.  But then the stylist asks the question, “So how did you get into theatre?”  And right there I paused, realizing I needed to drum up energy in order to answer.  While she’d first asked only what my job was, now I needed to explain.  Actually more than just needing to do this, I honestly wanted to retell the story.  And as adrenaline started to move, I knew the Lord supplied it.  The heaviness of my eyes lifted.  My posture straightened.  I sensed Him rejuvenating me in order to fulfill this call.  I began to recount the story about the summer the Lord kept speaking to me about theatre, and in the mirror I could see the stylist smiling.  It truly was a grand occasion of the Lord bringing to pass what I didn’t know was possible.  And on top of the allergies and the fatigue, I’d been frustrated with a new diet my doctor had given, yet none of that was hindering this moment for the sake of the stylist.  First Peter 3:15 says, “But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord.  Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.”  So when we're depleted, we look to the Lord to supply.  He is our preparation, giving meaning to every new moment.  For you and me both, a visit anywhere can be much more than what we think.  A trip to the doctor’s office can be more than medical.  A trip to the school or the bank or the dentist can be occasion for the Lord to open a door for us to share the name of Christ there.  So may He keep us aware.  May He give us joy in seeing and hearing and sensing the circumstances He orchestrates. We all need His inspiration.

Playing the Palace

How does a small town host blessings so bountiful?  We arrived on a Monday and found the Palace staff so welcoming and kind.  Situating sound equipment and unloading props and costumes was much less a burden because of how friendly and helpful they were.  Playing piano would be a new role for me on this trip, and in asking the Lord to lead me through, I soon saw Him using this sweet setting to help ease my nerves.  With the piano staying at the edge of the stage, I loved seeing up-close how intently children interacted with the whole performance, answering the story characters and pursuing the chase.  I heard their depth of laughter as if sitting in the seat next to them.  And I love to remember this little boy who threw his jacket over this face when he laughed so hard!  Even when children exited toward their buses, new amazement came for how they recited our songs with hand motions and all.  What a blessed 6 performances.  Simply my heart runneth over.  But how does this blessing in smallness happen when most of our world looks more toward the big lights and the big stage?  It’s the presence of the Lord showing up as He sees fit.  Maybe I've never heard anyone speak of Corsicana, Texas, as a hotly sought vacation spot.  Yet the Lord decided to bless us here, and we loved it.  What a pleasure to ask my fellow performers to join me in thanking Him.  Jesus says in Matthew 11:28, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”  Such utter contentment we find nowhere else.  May He satisfy your heart today.

Wedding table

The voice mail said, “Linda, call me, please.”  So I did.  And what I received was a precious invitation to play oboe at a friend’s wedding.  Entirely elated, I accepted.  Feeling immensely blessed, I replied, “Yes, we’ll be there.”  Yet there were more blessings to come.  After the wedding ceremony, we enjoyed dinner with others in the party, and as we meandered through topics of job, food, and travel, I soon found my heart fluttering.  One lady posed, “What do we do when my husband retires?”  Then her husband chimed in, saying he didn’t want to sit around retired and doing nothing.  And as the comment seemed to fit, I added, “The Lord is always at work.  He has roles for us.  Just ask Him what to do.”  A statement so simple, really.  But it’s crucial to remember that not every household speaks the name of the Lord.  And in that moment of my heart fluttering, maybe it was nervousness creeping in, or maybe temptation to discourage the speaking of His name.  Nevertheless I had options to weigh and a decision to make.  How will these people respond?  Do I risk any adverse reaction?  Do I follow through, or do I bow out?  Philippians 2:9-10 tells about Jesus, “Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”  So I determine to not fear people's reactions.  May we trust the Lord to pattern our steps.  May we love people enough to be willing to share the name of Christ.  May we each press through our fluttering.

Pediatric puppets

To watch God work is such a thrill.  All giddy and giggly, I feel like a little kid.  And to realize this thrill is available to us all is another excitement all its own.  Recently I’ve made 2 trips to the hospital with a friend to share puppets and music.  The whole idea for puppets began almost a year ago.  Adding ukulele, harmonica, percussion eggs, and a tambourine felt almost natural, following on a first request for soothing music, maybe flute, in the NICU.  Lots of playful sounds for young interaction.  Sometimes wondering if this mix would actually fit with any therapy textbook, I trust the Lord ultimately to tailor our tasks.  And the string of conversations to make all this happen has involved some waiting time.  But then one volunteer coordinator at one hospital called another volunteer coordinator at another hospital, and soon came song and music suggestions from friends and YouTube and some books about making puppets.  Not too long ago I realized the Lord supplying me with fabric, jewelry, craft items, even socks, mostly free as friends cleaned out their closets, leaving me to purchase only occasional small pieces.  The musical instruments the Lord supplied me over the years, even receiving some as gifts.  Then came days like New Year’s Eve when I was tempted, “Why am I making puppets?  I don’t even have a definite place to use them.”  Yet I kept praying and constructing them in faith.  And now I load my pull-cart to tote everything into the hospital to meet these precious children.  We meet a little girl who smiles to name one puppet Albert.  Two young sisters find inspiration in the ukulele to tell us about their older sister's music.  Two different playrooms resonate with our traveling percussion sounds, and we learn the flute eases the heart rate of a little girl in ICU.  All this while the puppets dance and sing and welcome their new puppeteers.  Simply awe-inspiring of the Lord.  At times we feel just goofy with glee.  And we eagerly await our next trip down the hospital hallways.  May He give us fresh eyes for recognizing the thrill of each new blessing.

Jesus, my car mechanic

Gasp!  What happened?  “Lord, help!”  In the middle of traffic, in the middle of lunch rush, with no extra time on the way to work, my car died.  In its tenth year, this sweet old Accord that’s been so reliable had a hiccup.  I pleaded, “Lord, let this car start again.”  And it did.  “Lord, may You keep this car running, so I won’t be late for work.”  And He took me onto the highway for 10 miles with no more stops and not even a hint of any problem.  I exited toward a Wal-Mart with plenty of empty parking spaces, and my lungs finally exhaled.  Not the ideal spot for leaving the car overnight, but it proved safe while my theatre director and I traveled to Houston.  Actually if someone tried to steal the car, I figured it probably wouldn’t start, so there wasn’t too much worry.  The greater fear had been keeping the car from stalling out again.  Psalm 34:4 says, “I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.”  And in this sudden panic, He did deliver me.  I love Him for that.  In writing this, I asked Him to be your Deliverer too.  In whatever situation might leave you panicked, may you be mindful of Him.  May you call to Him as Savior and Deliverer and the only One who gives peace within the storm.

Primero's birth

Is there anything beyond the Lord’s reach?  Anything too far gone that He cannot transform?  It’s been interesting to watch Him use some old scraps around our house recently.  Old pieces of red, pink, and black felt from my kids’ elementary days.  A pair of nice, cozy socks I somehow never wore.  Skeins of green, red, and yellow yarn, and multiple shades of blue and brown.  A small Styrofoam ball whose reason for being in our house nobody can remember.  And my Grandma Elsie’s “E” pin and 2 of her dressy, old-timey hats in different textures of black.  What a peculiar assortment of things, some of which sat idle for more than 10 years.  Yet then came the idea—the surprising idea—to make puppets.  And tossing into this mix is the awareness that I’ve never felt very craftsy.  So I’m wondering, how do you make a puppet?  And where’s the remedial course for not-very-craftsy people like me?  YouTube's been a wonderful help.  Library books too.  In November I took my first try at pushing layers of yarn through the sewing machine, and to my amazement it worked just like the YouTube demo.  So in December I sewed my first red toupee for my first puppet, whom I’m calling Primero.  According to a free pattern online, I ventured into cutting ½” foam to form Primero’s head, using contact cement to glue the notches together.  His skin formed from some gray remnant fabric at Hancock’s, and that old Styrofoam ball helped bring his eyes to life.  My point is that when the Lord gives the idea, He carries it through to fruition.  And still a key ingredient here is why.  Why make puppets?  So far I sense they’re for children in the hospital and maybe church as well.  The details I’m still sorting, but there’s been joy already in stepping into the idea.  And the Lord has sent encouragement through others as I’ve kept praying.  Philippians 1:6 says, “. . . he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”  God works in us and through us and in even the most unlikely circumstances.  He takes all kinds of scraps and constructs them into something beautiful.  He takes the scrappiest of people and recreates them to have hearts of joy.  And so I ask, have you experienced the joy of knowing Him?  As long as we’re on this earth, it’s never too late.