From the playground to the cedar cross

An awesome thing has lingered with me for weeks.  It started with a simple drive past an elementary school.  I’d passed this school before and really didn’t pay much attention until my friend and I were praying.  We met farther down the road at a large cedar cross on the property of her church.  Praying outside, we’d become accustomed to ant bites and mosquitoes and San Antonio’s extreme heat, yet this time something new floated in the air:  the voices of the children from the school.  And the voices stirred new thought.  I wondered, “If the children's playground voices floated to us, then to where and to whom were our voices floating?”  Who else was hearing the name of Christ that we spoke in prayer?  Whom all might the Lord be inspiring here?  This was wonderfully exciting.  And entirely possible.  And it fit right alongside other inclinations I’d had about taking the church into the world, stepping outside the walls of the church building and into the streets, into the businesses, into the open spaces where people roam.  In Mark 16:15, Jesus says, “Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation.”  I trust He knew we’d tend to isolate ourselves.  So He gave the instruction, and it’s time to move beyond our walls and privacy fences.  I pray for Him to give us His love of people and fill us with His joy.

Gift of scarves

To buy a friend some scarves.  It’s such a simple thing.  Yet such immense pleasure came in the shopping.  One light blue, one black, one reddish brown, each scarf in a fun print that would look so sweet on her.  YouTube has lots of good ideas, whether wearing for beauty or for warmth.  Even hours of deliberating over fabric brought such joy, just hoping to remind my friend that she’s loved and that she's not alone.  Cancer is a big word.  It’s a heavy word.  When my friend hurts, so do I.  When she loses her hair, I want to take away her pain.  I ask the Lord to heal her and lift her from sadness and show me a way to help.  When talking about the body of Believers, 1 Corinthians 12:26 says, “If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.”  So I continue to pray for the Lord's presence upon my friend.  His power surpasses all.  His love transcends.

Lyrically stifled

Back in June, we had some curious musical things happen.  I remember connecting eyes with my husband as confusion whirled, and he knew I needed him to step in.  Why couldn’t I sing the next stanza?  This was a song we’ve led for years.  Yet he moved toward the mic and carried us into the chorus.  Guitar and song fell back into place, and we kept going.  But then it happened again, only in reverse.  This time it was my husband whose words fell unexpected.  He’s speaking between songs, and my heart begins to flutter.  Somehow the fluttering becomes panic, yet still I see no astonished faces in the congregation.  Perhaps the Lord is garnering only our attention.  But what’s going on?   Why wouldn’t my eyes let me move past that first stanza?  We were scheduled to sing again in 2 more weeks, and as that day approached and unfolded, the sequence of events proved similar.  What was it about Wednesdays?  Singing on Saturdays brought none of this awkwardness.  So I told our friend who schedules Wednesday music to hold off on scheduling us for a while.  We would finish out July as she had already included us, but for August onward, I wanted to be available to the Lord.  I needed Him to settle my heart.  And soon a very interesting conversation came.  As back in May a friend had posed the idea of conducting parenting classes to help some younger moms, and as weeks had passed since then, she wanted to know now if I could host the classes 4:00 – 6:00 on Wednesdays.  And right there I’m pretty sure I froze.  My ears, my brain, and my heart all took a sudden leap to rejoice.  Was this what the Lord was preparing me for?  Had He been clearing my music commitments on Wednesdays so I’d be available to conduct these classes?  It’s interesting that never again did we encounter any awkward musical moments.  Fulfilling our commitments for July, it seemed once I decided to decline any further music scheduling, the Lord had no need to garner my attention anymore.  He made His point.  And our parenting classes have been happening for 4 months now on different days of the week, but most consistently on Wednesdays.  And so I thank the Lord for those awkward moments back in June.  As His ways can be mysterious, they are perfect.  When we earnestly seek Him, He makes sure we find Him.  Second Corinthians 3:3 tells us we are letters from Christ “written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts.”  Each of our experiences with Him is uniquely fashioned.  Each translates to us and to the world His desire to supply for our every step.  What is the Holy Spirit writing on your heart?

To sing Wednesday

Allergies.  Ugh.  My husband and I were scheduled for music on a Wednesday night, and this itch in my throat wouldn’t quit.  Rehearsing at home led only to gagging and more gagging, causing us to lose all momentum of the songs.  How could a mere itch be so crippling to a voice?  Have you ever been so ready to pour into something, and then there’s a snag in the pour spout?  In my case, the itch kept snagging the voice.  So I asked the Lord to allow my throat a way to sing.  “Lord, may You give freedom for air to flow.  May You protect my voice.  May Your voice sing freely through mine.”  And so at 7:00 we began.  The first song . . . the second song . . . the third . . . and the fourth.  All the while there's a joy deepening inside me and utter amazement for how the Lord is preventing any inhibitions to my voice.  Yet afterward as I took a seat with the congregation, what happened?  I started coughing.  The itch returned and so did the gag, though just briefly, as if the Lord kindly reminded, “I'm here.  You asked Me to guard your voice during the songs, and I did.”  It was the timing, the precise moment after singing.  I hadn’t even fully sat in the chair before needing to exit the room, so the cough wouldn't interrupt everyone else.  That brief itch lent me to reflect on all the allergy troubles before prayer versus the peace the Lord offered after prayer.  And so I ask you, as a reader here today, “How do you need the Lord?  Do you ask Him for a voice to sing or for something different?”  He loves to hear the call of your heart.  I have prayed for you already.

Coffeehouse catastrophe?

Aaahhhhhh!  What did I say?!#*  I panicked.  Two friends invited the new barista to come to church, but what inadvertent words had slipped out of my mouth?  We like to arrive the coffeehouse early to see what's going on and maybe talk a little before we play.  This time I heard the barista call my name, and his finger pointed to the calendar listing our names for music that night.  But there was also another name.  And a silent gasp fluttered across my throat.  Really it came when I imagined friends rushing across town to join us, and I felt bad they might enter the door and realize they rushed for nothing because we weren’t even playing yet.  The barista offered to ask the other guitarist to reschedule, but my husband reassured, “Don’t worry.  Let him play; then we’ll take a turn.”  So we spent the next minutes greeting friends and explaining, and honestly we enjoyed the longer-than-usual time to visit at the start.  I remember saying aloud, “Maybe the Lord has something in this.”  We sang a favorite Matt Maher tune, and the night filled fast with fun and energy.  And still we were glad to have those somber and thought-provoking moments that good songs and stories bring.  But now it was Saturday morning, and my brain was in a different gear.  I was nervous to recall that gasp when the barista told me.  Was there any part of me that conveyed anger at the situation?  Any facial expression or words I regret?  How often does adversity reveal the truth of our faith?  When I said “Maybe the Lord has something in this,” I hadn’t imagined He had a lesson in humility presenting personally to me.  So I prayed.  And I prayed again.  “Lord, I ask that nothing about my reaction last night dissuade our new barista from this invitation to church.  If there was any hint of anger or any grimace of frustration on my face, let him not remember it.  May he remember Your name and know Your presence above all.”  Philippians 4:4-7 says, “Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again;  Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”  May He guide us to consider Him and others before ourselves.  And how I thank Him for standing in the gap on my account.  

90-day plan

My message delivered 3 different times.  First, it was the change of church.  The Lord stirred in us to begin attending Calvary Chapel, which emphasizes the reading of the whole Bible in sequence.  Second, it was a phone call with a friend who explained her recent thrill in reading the Bible in 90 days—every book, every chapter, every verse in sequence.  Third, it was hearing the testimony of Adam’s Road, a group of musicians who speak of having been saved from Mormonism.  Their conversion began with a Christian pastor posing the challenge to read the complete Holy Bible.  This message of entirety flashed bright for me like a huge neon sign I couldn’t ignore.  And my world has not been the same since.  My husband and I set out on this 90-day reading plan.  (If you're interested, just search "schedule 90 days Bible.")  Reading 10–15 chapters per night, we were blessed.  We came across verses I didn’t recall.  In Genesis 6:20 and 7:9, I didn’t remember that the animals came to Noah.  I’d imagined this picture of him loading the animals, but maybe I never pondered how he corralled them for loading.  In Exodus 6:20 and 15:20, I’d forgotten Moses, Aaron, and Miriam were siblings.  In Leviticus 4, there was this wonderful prominence of forgiveness that I thought of being more in the New Testament than the Old.  In Numbers 16:48, Aaron stops a plague just by standing amidst the people!  That’s absolutely amazing!  Then in the last chapter of Deuteronomy, the Lord gives this image of how personal He is for us.  Moses dies, and the Lord Himself buries him.  That idea sent my brain just wondering, just pondering in awe.  Seriously, how did God personally bury Moses?  And it’s been blessing upon blessing with each book we continue to read.  This Bible is God’s voice.  He spells out His love for us and His forgiveness, and the accounts of His presence thousands of years ago still affect us today.  May we encourage each other to read.  May we know Him personally therein.

Answers in Genesis

How far ahead does the Lord plan?  How early does He set circumstances and move people in order to answer your prayer?  This past semester, my desire to study Creation deepened.  Something stirred in my heart beyond studying the Bible on my own.  For years I’ve wanted to study with my husband because of the way he understands science.  I researched festivals and conferences, but the logistics of traveling cross-country hadn’t fit.  Then came this compulsion to attend a new church.  “Lord, what is this?”  By our third Sunday, I see in the bulletin that they’re hosting Answers in Genesis on Fridays.  My heart leaps in an instant, and I sit there absolutely flabbergasted!  The thought truly amazed me that the Lord would love little ol’ messed-up me enough to plan a Creation study at a new little church that sits at an unassuming little intersection in San Antonio.  And He brought a small group of people to study alongside me too, for He’s working on behalf of many all at once.  One girl tells me, “Our church planned this a year ago, so the Lord must have been waiting for you to arrive.”  That means that for this single occasion of studying Creation, the Lord began orchestrating more than a year ago, which reiterates how personal our God is.  How intimately He works in us and amongst us.  In Malachi 3:10, the Lord says, “ . . . see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.”  May we anticipate His next answer to prayer with great joy.  May we savor the beauty of His handiwork.

What do McDonald's, a collision shop, and an insurance office have in common?

I love how God uses something small to accomplish something big.  In this case, He began with 1 person and 1 event and kept adding different chapters to the story as people entered the room.  One girl shared about eating at McDonald’s and suddenly realizing, lo and behold, the Lord opening a door for her to mention His name with one of the employees.  All of us listeners were happy to hear, and I tossed in the story of the Lord prompting me to pray for the collision shop employees repairing my car and the thrill of talking about prayer with one of the shop supervisors.  All the while, smiles are growing and encouragement's blossoming throughout our classroom.  Another girl happily testifies to the Lord giving opportunity to mention His name at her insurance agent’s office.  None of these being intrusive occasions, but rather just perfect pauses into which the Lord compels our participation.  A fourth story giddily adds into testimony, and the whole aura of the room becomes wide-eyed and flourishing with excitement.  All gathering momentum from that first small mention of the Lord's name.  People gain confidence in recognizing the Lord at work in the ordinary day.  To tell about Him is vital because not every household speaks His name.  His name means hope, and we are people in need of that hope.  You may tell a story about the Lord that is perfect encouragement for someone's trouble.  Second Timothy 1:8 says, “So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord . . .”  Don't fall into thinking that a story of God could ever be insignificant.  If God’s in it, it’s big, and it can inspire.

Battleground: deer, water, bones

My bones hurt.  I'm on edge.  I leave the room because the noise of the TV stirs my stomach.  The other day I was close to crying just driving down the road.  I’ve wondered about arthritis and fibromyalgia, but even more so I’ve considered these aches to evidence the throes of spiritual battle.  Certainly the story of Job shows that faith can lead us to encounter physical pain.  Now in recent weeks I have called on the Lord to carry me through.  And then came last Sunday.  I simply walked into church and heard 3 particular words.  Deer.  Water.  Bones.  Each spoke uniquely to me.  Our pastor talked of his trip to Montana and his view of some deer walking up to the water.  That water, he said, was a fountain of life for these animals.  That water led to a whole experience of replenishment.  Much more than a short sip of anything wet, that water nourished the depth of the animal’s whole existence.  Yet when the pastor initially uttered deer and water in the same sentence, my brain froze because I first thought of a song.  I'd been rehearsing some music with a friend, and one set of our lyrics sings, “As the deer panteth for the water, so my soul longeth after Thee.”  Our road to rehearsing this music had encountered a very steep uphill climb.  It was a battle, it had been painful, pressure was tight, and so this Sunday in church my ears stood desperately attentive.  Next came the pastor saying, “The Lord can be health to our bones.”  And therein sat my third word.  God was using the pastor to speak into the aches of my body that felt more loudly pronounced every day.  All morning I kept hearing people speak words and ideas that I identified with.  River.  Thirst.  Running water that flows even where the land is parched.  With each new mention, I felt refreshed and immensely loved by the Lord that He would speak so specifically into my circumstances and let me know He knew what I was enduring and that He was with me.  This pain I withstood was of a different realm.  A different category.  People tell me I have a high tolerance for pain, yet my usual large doses of ibuprofen wouldn’t touch this.  The tension began to cleanse through my eyes, saturating one Kleenex after another to realize how each new conversation added into the blessing.  Jesus says in John 7:38, “Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him.”  This was my real life and my real streams of tears flowing.  And by the time I heard my Spanish friend say the word alfarero, which only a couple days prior I had learned means “potter,” I could picture the Lord molding me at the potter’s wheel, moistening the clay along the way to stretch, reshape, and smooth out my edges.  And as my tears released, my fragility faded.  Though the pain would return later in the week, this Sunday the Lord had relieved and replenished to the depths of my soul.  Where I had struggled for words to explain to my husband, the Lord had reassured that He knew all the ins and outs of every inch of my pain.  Satan could fight all he wanted, but the Lord had given me rest and had held up the fight on my behalf.  To know Him in these moments was sufficient for me.  The Lord is enough.

Unwonted invitation

Do you ever hesitate to invite someone in fear they’ll decline?  I mean, how disappointing would it be to invite a new friend for coffee, or how embarrassing could it be to try to gather a group together, but in the end no one comes?  I’m hoping this week’s story encourages you.  A couple of weeks ago, I invited some friends to my house to study.  I hadn’t seen these friends this summer, and I was eager to brew my new pack of Community Coffee and laugh with these girls and seriously study all at the same time.  But one by one, their emails replied no, can’t come, not this time.  The first said, “Sorry, Linda, but I’m going on vacation.”  The next one said, “Yes, I’ll be there,” but in the end she didn’t come because her children were sick.  Still another friend wrote, “I’m intending to come, Linda, but I’m waiting for a certain phone call that will determine whether I can or not,” and evidently her phone call didn’t allow her to come.  All the while, I held to my lesson plan, hoping for even just one friend to be available, as I had prayed before ever emailing the invitation and didn’t want to abandon the date and topic I felt the Lord gave me.  Thursday night I stayed up late to fine-tune some teaching points on 2 Samuel 9.  Friday morning came, it was 10:30, and no one arrived.  The clock hit 11 AM, and still no one.  The house surely felt empty.  My heart felt a little hollow too.  Yet there was no point in sitting around just being sad.  And then around 11:15, an interesting thing happened.  The phone rang, and I noticed it was a friend from church.  Often he asks me to substitute-teach, and so my brain started to race in excitement, though I didn’t want to get too excited too soon.  This friend explained he had been sick with allergies, and would I teach his class on Sunday?  Almost jumping through the phone, I exclaimed, “Yes, I’ll be happy to teach!”  And in reality my heart had already leaped its first tall building in a single bound.  I had this freshly unused lesson so eager to be taught.  I felt the corners of my mouth stretching into the hugest of smiles to realize 2 Samuel had just found its new time and place.  And come Sunday, our lesson proved wonderfully fruitful.  All the way through, the Lord kept giving insightful discussion across the class.   Afterward I pondered the whole sequence of events.  Why did the Lord lead me to invite the Friday group in the first place?  He could have bypassed that invitation, given that none of them attended anyway.  In staring at my calendar, I realized He timed things perfectly to have me stay up late Thursday to study because Friday and Saturday already held music commitments.  Certainly He knew the schedule of things.  Perhaps I invited the Friday group because someone there felt lonely.  Maybe the Lord blessed them through the invitation to know they were thought of and included and loved, even though they couldn't come.  I do know I was blessed in the thrill of seeing the Lord connect multiple dots along a road that seemed to meander here and there.  Isaiah 55 talks about the Lord’s word never returning void, and so all the more reason we have to proceed when He leads us to offer invitations.  Regardless of any outcome visible or invisible to us, He speaks with large-scale purpose, bringing to fruition as He sees fit.

Parachutes & paracaidas

Parachutes and Bibles.  How do they relate?  It’s an exciting story.  In March, I attended a Voice of the Martyrs event that told about Bibles being delivered into Colombian jungles via parachute.  I came home to research the idea a bit and came across info for crafting these parachutes.  Matthew 28 and Mark 16 both talk about us taking the Gospel to all nations, the latter giving the words of Jesus in verse 15, “Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation.”  That includes the guerrillas in the Colombian jungles.  That’s why we’re talking parachutes, because sometimes you can hardly reach an area by any other means.  And in this case, there happens to be a tangible way for us all to help in the effort.  A kit of materials for making 10 parachutes is available from VOM, and this past Friday our church group was immensely blessed to construct our first set of 10.  Even for people like me who aren’t too craftsy, it’s quite a manageable task, and having the camaraderie of friends makes it altogether fun.  A pilot named Russell drops these parachutes from his airplane, and each parachute carries a Bible and other Christian literature and a solar-powered radio that tunes to either of 2 Christian stations, one being music and the other being the spoken word.  If the parachute catches in the trees on the way down, a station on the radio will trigger, and the sound will attract the people.  The canopy on these paracaidas (Spanish for parachutes) reads “Dios es amor,” which translates “God is love.”  Perhaps Russell will speak at a Voice of the Martyrs event near you; maybe check the speaker schedule at persecution.com.  Thank you, Lord, for giving the ingenuity to devise these paracaidas, and may Your light shine through them.

A Luke 14 pizza feast

Put the Food Network and HGTV together, and you’ve got a pretty good set of ideas for your home.  They talk about meals and events I’ve never thought of before, and they make DIY tasks look possible and even fun.  But I’m unaware of them ever telling how to host a feast quite like Luke 14 does.  In this chapter, verses 12-14 in particular, Jesus says, “When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid.  But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed...”  In verse 13 where the NIV says banquet, the KJV says feast, which is how I first read it last week.  The verses rang in my ear for several days, and I figured the Lord had a feast in mind for me.  But how do I do this?  Whom do I invite?  On Sunday, I sat in church with these verses still floating in my head, and the idea hit me to invite a guy who was sitting across the aisle.  I explained to my husband about Luke 14 this week and ran the lunch idea by him.  I offered the invitation to our church-mate on the aisle and was so happy for him to accept, but then I wondered, “Lord, is this a feast for just the 3 of us?”  I walked into the hallway and found my husband talking to someone, whom he promptly told me he had invited to lunch as well.  Now our feast was for 4.  And so we agreed upon pizza and proceeded in our separate cars to the nearby Pizza Hut.  My husband drove, and my heart danced the whole way to recount how this occasion was developing.  It was a case of literally living out the Bible.  Blessings poured amidst our afternoon conversation, and we learned about some business concerns for our first guest.  Time to pray with him fit wonderfully atop our empty Meat Lover’s Pizza tray.  We had the added blessing too of looking forward to seeing our new friends again the next week.  It was as if watching each separate link, each separate event, adding one by one into God's perfect chain of events.  Almost effortless on my part it seemed, having simply begun one ordinary day while sitting on an ordinary couch to open the pages of the Bible, which is forever extraordinary. 

Flags of the world

I love seeing the flags of the world.  Sometimes it’s at theme parks or at historical sites where they’re flying in the wind.  Sometimes it’s in a sanctuary where they hang neatly from the ceiling or they’re carried on poles in a processional.  They remind me of how small I am in this world and yet how intimately God loves His creations.  We can be the lone ranger on the remotest of islands, and God knows our exact spot.  We can be one in a million in the most crowded of cities, and He reaches us with ease.  I visited San Francisco one time and saw how every nook and cranny had someone living in it.  Deep into one building, past the apartments visible to the outside, I realized there were layers and layers of living spaces more obscure.  How does a realtor even know what’s available to rent when they’re layered so densely?  But no matter our surroundings, God is there.  And so for the sake of our different territories, we call to God and wait on Him and thank Him for saving us from our own human nature.  To the many in 19 different countries who visited this blog since May, I welcome you.  Matthew 28:19-20 says, “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.  And surely I am with you always to the very end of the age.”  To Argentina, Australia, Canada, China, Colombia, Finland, France, Germany, Hungary, Indonesia, Netherlands, Poland, Portugal, Romania, Russia, Saudi Arabia, United Arab Emirates, USA, Vietnam—we are in this together.  May you know the Lord's presence today within the uniqueness of where you serve. 

Halfway Herbert & the lady at New Life

“Do you know if Brady Boyd’s new book is out?”  I replied to her, “I’m sorry I don’t.”  My husband and I had entered New Life that Sunday as visitors.  Not knowing exactly what was behind any of the many doors from the parking lot, we found ourselves at the church bookstore.  The word discount on a sign pulled me across the room, and 10 minutes of extra time allowed me to start scanning the front table.  The lady who asked about the book explained that Brady Boyd is a pastor who walked alongside New Life in their years of healing from scandal.  I thought of the shootings in Columbine and Aurora and last year’s grass fires and a whole depth of injury that Colorado has endured.  She asked, “Where are you from?”  “San Antonio,” I said.  I spent a minute sharing about blessings that have come in visiting churches and witnessing the Lord at work away from home.  In fact, a large part of today’s blessings came through this new friend at the book table.  She was my first acquaintance with New Life and the welcoming voice of the church for me.  She was the personal connection that stepped out from the large congregation.  Her casual conversation spoke of real-life Christianity that let me see again how Jesus-followers are scattered all throughout our world, and the Lord uses us to encourage each other.  Yet many yearn for a church home, and I think of friends who've become disenchanted by the imperfections of the people inside the churches, and I pondered what it is actually we seek on Sunday mornings.  If we don’t identify with the pastor, that’s not necessarily bad.  If we don’t connect with every song, that doesn’t have to be reason to leave.  Maybe there’s a book table where we’re supposed to stand and talk with visitors about Christ and how He delivers us from the trials of everyday life.  I didn't sense the role of the book lady was even a formal role, as she simply was a book scanner like me, yet she was ready to share life with whomever.  This Sunday the teaching from the pulpit proved to be thought-provoking and wonderful, as did the music, though it was through the gentle manner of my friend at the table that the Lord first ushered blessing.  The fact that I had fun in finding a half-price copy of Halfway Herbert for my nephew was a bonus.  May the Lord give us joy for the circumstances He creates.

Abandoned, but not by God

Wrong again.  Actually glad again.  I’ve had an unusual patch of negativity lately, and I was happy to be dissuaded.  Sundays have been a long-time source of inspiration, yet lately the aura of a certain 2-hour span has infected my thinking to the point of dread.  And directly into the core of this dread on one particular morning, the Lord inserted a wonderful dose of inspiration.  His creativity was in full bloom.  He walked my feet into what’s becoming my favorite breakfast nook, and there sat a friend with whom I hadn’t talked in a while.  My friend mentioned recently praying in a new way for his family, including for his wife who abandoned him.  In his mind, he and his wife are still married, though she took their daughters and has been moving them from house to house, all across town, staying with different people often far away.  My friend’s been exhausted in the constant effort to track them down and stay in touch, and in desperation he threw his hands up, pleading for the Lord to show him what to do.  And blessing did come.  News arrived that his wife had found yet another house, and to his amazement, this one appeared to be longer-term, and it was near him and near the church.  No longer would he drive all the miles that had stretched him even beyond the city limits.  Perhaps no longer would his daughters cry to think of him far away.  In the telling of the story, I witnessed his eyes moistening to talk of the magnitude of the blessing and the depth of his gratitude to the Lord.  The story triggered memories of mountaintop experiences the Lord has graciously granted me, even after I’ve felt on the brink of some deep despair that I stirred up myself.  This Sunday morning, the Lord reminded me to never dread because He can always breathe life into what seems dead and gone.  I ask you as the reader today, “Are you like me?  Do you have something you’re dreading?  Something setting you up for a negative attitude?”  Ephesians 2:4 says, “But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.”  And may you and I both remember to ask Him to lift us out of the muck and mire. 

Impromptu at the breakfast nook

I had been reluctant.  I hadn’t relished the thought of arriving 2 hours early for my husband to rehearse some music.  Where would I go while he was busy?  The hallways were quiet, and our jovial greeter at the side door was absent this day.  I chose to study at the empty breakfast nook, just for something different.  My notes on Matthew 5 fell open onto the table (and I do mean that literally because all the extra papers I’ve tucked into my Bible have left its seams on the verge of explosion), and so I took a moment to rearrange.  As the morning progressed, hallway traffic picked up speed.  From a distance, I saw a friend to whom we usually offer a ride as he’s walking the road from the bus stop.  I called out as he entered the building, “Hey, we looked for you earlier!  Sorry we didn’t get to give you a ride.”  “That’s all right,” he said, and given that this hallway today was different from where we usually see each other, he stopped to ask what I was doing.  I explained about Matthew 5 and about teaching, and he asked, “Are you nervous?”  “No,” I answered, “I love sharing stories of the Lord, and I love our class.”  And from that point of connection, the Lord proceeded to bless the 2 of us with some wonderful conversation.  And it wasn’t just one blessing, for in the process of all our talk, the Lord gave multiple new insights for teaching that day, even supplying the thrill of seeing Him orchestrate the whole encounter.  Our empty breakfast nook had blossomed into hosting 2 hours that were filled to the brim with joy, and I smiled to see how the thought of “something different” that led me to the nook in the first place was far more than casual notion.  What seems impromptu in our minds, the Lord has known all along.

A misfit Pebbles

This old Pebbles doll.  She has a mysterious spot of white paint on her forehead.  Her whole face really could use a good washing.  She’s missing many tufts of her original red hair from having been picked up by that straight-up ponytail she always wore, and the bit of hair she still has would certainly benefit from some patient combing.  Her shirt sleeves are too big.  Her pant legs almost fall off.  You can see she landed in some clothes from another doll who's only vaguely near her same size.  This Pebbles has seen some years and some decades, and she looks a bit disheveled.  Maybe even misfit.  And that’s actually why I love her.  When the Lord first led me to teach high school choir, my music experience had been primarily band and orchestra, and the choir idea didn't seem to be a perfect fit.  When the Lord called me to ride the city buses, I didn’t know how the bus system worked.  When the Lord led my husband and me to study the Bible on Sundays, we were one of the few married couples in a much larger class called Singles.  When the Lord led us to our Spanish congregation, I didn’t speak too much Spanish.  When He called me to write a book, I was not a confident writer.  Somewhere along the way in all these situations, I felt like I didn't fit.  And when He called me to theater a year and a half ago, I arrived at the audition entirely inexperienced, braced for the worst, hopeful for the best, altogether really uncertain of what would happen.  A few hours later, I returned home with two small acting parts and a look of complete shock when giving report to my husband.  But it was actually a good shock.  It was a case of “Oh, wow, this ride is crazy, and actually it’s fun, but I honestly don’t know where this theater thing is going!”  According to Hebrews 2:10, God saw fit to make Jesus perfect through suffering.  Verse 2:14 talks about Jesus sharing in our humanity.  So if Jesus suffered in stepping out to share in people’s lives, and if I aim to follow Jesus, then I too can expect to encounter some suffering.  Whether nervous stomach or mental pressure, it's uncomfortable, and it's suffering nonetheless.  It's circumstances we wouldn't have chosen on our own, all for the greater purposes the Lord lays out.  And so I want to be willing to be uncomfortable.  I want to be willing to feel misfit, for He will at some point supply a joy that leaps the highest hurdle, and therein lies my peace.  He reveals the perfect fit for all us misfits.  Even a painted smile on an old Pebbles doll can remind of the joy the Lord gives.

Paper angels & a ukulele

A ukulele, a flute, a wooden recorder, and some songbooks.  My most portable, kid-friendly music stash, all stuffed into one of those pull-carts on wheels.  It’s funny that I can hardly play the ukulele, yet it still tossed into the cart.  All this simply because I was curious.  I had learned about the Strong Foundation through the church that I study with during the week.  Our group of ladies had been asked to adorn with paper angels a large wreath that would hang in the church foyer.  Each angel held the name of a child who temporarily lived at the Strong Foundation, and each was available to be adopted for Christmas gift-giving.  That was my first acquaintance with the name Strong.  At home a few days later, my husband called to me from the kitchen, “Here’s your flier from church about the Strong Foundation.”  Yet I knew the church didn’t give out fliers.  What he found was an info sheet that had come in a mailbox packet of ads mostly for lawn care and carpet cleaning.  The 3 words Strong Foundation Ministries at the top had caught my eye, so I kept the sheet to remind me to look up their website.  So twice now, on separate occasions, the name Strong had garnered my attention, and I began to wonder if the Lord might be at work.  The next Monday I dialed up the Strong Foundation to see if I could volunteer somehow.  In retrospect, I wonder now if at least subconsciously I may have doubted.  After all, what’s the likelihood the staff there would have an idea ready for some unknown lady on the phone?  But in reality the staff member who answered did in fact offer that I could come the next day to entertain the preschoolers while their moms unloaded a food truck.  Right there my heart did one of those ecstatic leaps of near-disbelief.  Tuesday came, and I wheeled in my music stash, and we sang and played and acted out songs.  The kids smiled to exaggerate the hand motions for “Deep and Wide” and somehow loved to pretend we were rowing a boat as we sang a whole bunch of tunes.  One little boy chose to stand in the center of the room in order to strum the ukulele and compose an original song about all the friendly animals painted along the walls.  Being there that day felt very much right.  I had dialed the phone because I didn't want to risk missing the Lord, just in case He had something in mind for me.  Following Him does indeed give the deepest and widest of joys, just like the song says.

Weighing in

I knew not one soul.  I came this day because I hadn’t handled the issue on my own.  All these 20 other people have my same problem, and therein lies a comforting thought.  I'm not alone. I need help, and so do they.  Embarrassment wasn’t necessary, for I would find encouragement here.  And upon that point, I pondered.  Not only to WeightWatchers have I gone when I need help.  I go to the Lord.  In the house, on the bus, at work, on the street—we can find Him anywhere.  Many times He has spoken to me from within the church.  In fact, church is really just one big WeightWatchers meeting.  We’re there because when we’re honest, we all need help.  At some point, we’ve felt like we’re drowning, and we’re exhausted and without the capacity to save ourselves.  And actually anytime it seems we’ve saved ourselves, really it’s only a temporary fix.  I haven’t yet seen a WeightWatchers scale in the church building, but in reality we do all weigh in.  Some sort of weighty issue lands in our lap, and we're checking our pride at the door once again.  So glad the Lord welcomes us to His table.

Asian Mission

I opened the door cautiously, as it was a few minutes past 10:45.  On the right-hand side was a row of open seats, and I ambled across quietly.  To my surprise, I soon heard a young voice speaking in English.  “Welcome,” she said, and her smile addressed the whole congregation.  I had realized years ago that our church building hosted congregations in 3 different languages, among which only the English and the Spanish I was familiar.  The Laotian-Thai congregation was the one with which I’d never attended, and in recent months, my interest had renewed.  The previous Sunday, in fact, upon visiting the women’s restroom on the far side of our building, my ears perked up to the sound of a new language.  Quite possibly my heart leaped into a cartwheel, and being curious as to whether the Lord was orchestrating once again, I asked the girls there, “What congregation do you attend?”  And there we stood . . . with my heart all aflutter and my eyes probably bouncing up and down in excitement . . . in the women’s restroom, of all possible places!  I talked with one of the girls a little more at length, and it clearly seemed the Lord had provided me a personal escort for next Sunday’s Laotian-Thai worship service.  Next week came, and happy I was to see my new friend again.  More English was spoken than I expected, and I learned that Amen and Hallelujah translate straight across.  They sang “Just As I Am” in their language, and I sang it in mine, and we worshiped the same Jesus.  They opened to Deuteronomy, and so did I.  When they read from Proverbs, I was right there with them.  To hear the different voice sounds and to encounter a new taste of how Jesus' love reaches around the world was wonderfully enlightening and invigorating altogether.  What does the Lord have in store here?  I don’t know, but I love when He walks and when He turns left and turns right and takes me with Him.