A bundle of nerves

Ibuprofen didn’t help. The pain in my shoulders would not relent. From the moment I awoke, my legs ached as well, and only when the ibuprofen proved ineffective did I realize it was anxiety that sat deep in my bones. My first performance with this children's theater was weeks down the road. Theater in general was still relatively new for me, and quite possibly I could have these aches and pains for a good while, though I knew the Lord would be with me. One morning I arrived to volunteer at the hospital and quickly found myself in the grip of a gigantic hug. It was the kind that holds for a long time, leaving no room for my anxieties to tremble. What a pleasure to tell my friend how the Lord used her snug arms to bless me. Along the way too, the Lord was with me at the piano. I sat down one day to play “Breath of Heaven,” yet before too long, the Lord took my fingers on a mesmerizing path that melted the tensions in my shoulders. I remember neither the individual keys my fingers played nor the sequences of the notes. The experience enveloped me completely, lifting me into a protected, cushioned world, free of anxiety. I sought to relive the escape many times, finding its replication unattainable, yet its memory providing remarkable peace.  One afternoon, the Lord gave me a lunchtime with friends that brought great laughter, letting my eyes cry away the day's tension. Still another day, my heart leaped when I walked into Bible study and was asked to facilitate the group. Maybe no one knew how sweetly the occasion touched my heart, as I’d reminisced this year for no longer hosting a group in my home. The Lord continued the string of blessings right up to the day of our theater performances, which interestingly left me more concerned that our props wouldn't fly away with the gusts of wind outside, and more distracted by the drips of sweat running underneath my rabbit costume. All the while I had kept working to memorize my theater lines, and all the while the Lord calmed each day's circumstances. My nervous aches and pains had reminded me to seek Him. The pain I didn’t want, He turned into blessing.