Quaked, then resurrected

One earthquake.  Days later, another earthquake.  I imagine every inch of land being affected.  The quake that came with His death brought rocks to split and tombs to break open as well.  And how would that look?  I can hardly fathom the rocks.  Going for a stroll and suddenly seeing rocks of all sizes splitting in half?  And between the 2 quakes mentioned in Matthew 27 and 28, the one at Jesus’ resurrection is noted as violent, which shows me this idea of bringing life from death really does turn our way of thinking upside down.  The idea of Jesus dying in order to give us new life really is revolutionary.  Even the land didn’t know how to witness the magnitude of what was happening.  The sun stopped shining for hours, and our earth was essentially gasping for air.  It would inhale a new Presence, a new beginning.  And I thank the Lord that I may be intrigued countless times at His power to affect our world.

A bundle of nerves

Ibuprofen didn’t help. The pain in my shoulders would not relent. From the moment I awoke, my legs ached as well, and only when the ibuprofen proved ineffective did I realize it was anxiety that sat deep in my bones. My first performance with this children's theater was weeks down the road. Theater in general was still relatively new for me, and quite possibly I could have these aches and pains for a good while, though I knew the Lord would be with me. One morning I arrived to volunteer at the hospital and quickly found myself in the grip of a gigantic hug. It was the kind that holds for a long time, leaving no room for my anxieties to tremble. What a pleasure to tell my friend how the Lord used her snug arms to bless me. Along the way too, the Lord was with me at the piano. I sat down one day to play “Breath of Heaven,” yet before too long, the Lord took my fingers on a mesmerizing path that melted the tensions in my shoulders. I remember neither the individual keys my fingers played nor the sequences of the notes. The experience enveloped me completely, lifting me into a protected, cushioned world, free of anxiety. I sought to relive the escape many times, finding its replication unattainable, yet its memory providing remarkable peace.  One afternoon, the Lord gave me a lunchtime with friends that brought great laughter, letting my eyes cry away the day's tension. Still another day, my heart leaped when I walked into Bible study and was asked to facilitate the group. Maybe no one knew how sweetly the occasion touched my heart, as I’d reminisced this year for no longer hosting a group in my home. The Lord continued the string of blessings right up to the day of our theater performances, which interestingly left me more concerned that our props wouldn't fly away with the gusts of wind outside, and more distracted by the drips of sweat running underneath my rabbit costume. All the while I had kept working to memorize my theater lines, and all the while the Lord calmed each day's circumstances. My nervous aches and pains had reminded me to seek Him. The pain I didn’t want, He turned into blessing.

Guidance . . . why wait? (Part 2)

The Lord had given me Psalm 25 to memorize.  I did start the process from the first verse onward.  Some months later, my principal advised that the school would not renew my teaching contract.  Suddenly I felt bruised and shaky.  My head whirled fast like a tornado was crashing everything inside.  Sometimes I couldn’t sleep at night, and still too I felt sorry for my principal, who had clearly been through a wrestling match himself in preparing to deliver me the news.  Looking at my span of teaching years, I was going from Teacher of the Year at one school to losing my job at another.  Yet soon I began to see the beauty of the Lord’s guidance.  One sleepless night, He reminded me that no one whose hope is in Him will ever be put to shame.  In the midst of my wounds and weakness, He was showing me verse 3 of Psalm 25 all over again.  He knew I would need to rely on those words, and He enabled me to recite that psalm, even amidst the agonizing pain that had swallowed me whole.  I kept asking the Lord to lead me through, and I sensed Him saying to keep in mind these two words: honesty and respect.  And indeed the two words held crucial in dealing with bitterness among students and fellow teachers for all kinds of reasons in the remaining weeks of school.  One weekend, my daughter was checking her financial account online for college, and she asked, “Hey, Mom, what’s all this new money doing in my account?”  I cry still today to realize how the Lord increased her scholarships to compensate for the fact that I wouldn’t be teaching the next year.  And at school I had multiple opportunities to tell my students how the Lord was providing for my family and that He would provide for them too.  The Lord’s blessings were abundant, pouring through words of kindness from many directions.  I pondered whether the Lord could call someone to lose their job, and I knew the answer was ‘yes.’  He calls people to lose their lives sometimes, and certainly He could call someone to testify in losing their job.  Mine was a painstaking experience that is now a favorite story.  The Lord had guided me all along—before the storm and through it as well.

Guidance . . . why wait? (Part 1)

Give and receive.  Speak and listen.  They are components of conversation.  They can also be components of relationship.  Author John Ortberg discusses the issue of people wanting God’s guidance.  When is it that we seek Him?  In Chapter 9 of his book The Life You’ve Always Wanted, Ortberg suggests we ask ourselves the question, “How often do I seek God’s guidance when I’m not facing trouble or a difficult decision?”  Do we consult the Lord only when our angst hits its hilt?  And how do we recognize His guidance anyway?  Ortberg encourages us to seek God before a crisis hits.  Don’t wait for a storm.  Ask the Lord to grow us internally to know His truth and joy now, to fortify us before the pressures swell.  Certainly the apostle Paul endured many storms.  He was shipwrecked, stoned, and beaten with rods.  He withstood hunger, thirst, and lack of sleep.  Yet he recognized the Lord’s provision of an angel, as told in Acts 27.  Paul heeded the angel’s message and found courage also for the sake of his shipmates.  The Lord did guide Paul.  And today the Lord desires to relate to us, to converse, to speak and listen, to give and receive—and guide throughout.  Lord, may we recognize Your voice and find joy in following Your hand. 

A chicken in the road

“Why did the chicken cross the road?”  That question has headlined a whole series of jokes.  It’s blossomed into jokes about turtles crossing the road, and lawyers crossing the road, and rubber chickens, and just about anything you want.  But last week a chicken really was in my street, and it wasn’t simply crossing to the other side.  God had reason for that chicken being there.  I’d been intending to talk to my new neighbor for months.  In fact, it’s sad that my neighbor isn’t really new anymore, and until her chicken was in the street, I’d spent all this time harboring the notion of meeting her, yet I didn’t carry through.  This particular afternoon, I neared my house and saw my neighbor plunging into the street to grab what looked like a chicken.  Without hesitation, I hopped out of the car and walked across to inquire.  The Lord knew I would want to see my neighbor’s animals, and hence His wonderful creativity shined again.  I imagined Him saying, “Well, I’ve given Linda the notion and ample opportunity, yet she’s not carrying through, so I’ll make it happen.”  And what a very friendly neighbor I do have.  So nice to talk instead of just waving ‘hello.’  In Numbers 22, the Lord opened a donkey’s mouth to talk.  In Exodus 3, the Lord spoke from within a bush.  In Daniel 5, He caused the fingers of a human hand to suddenly write on a wall.  And here last week He used a brown-feathered fowl to arouse a much-anticipated conversation.