On the fly, but not really

I like to feel prepared.  I like to feel equipped for the job.  Yet I often land in the opposite circumstance.  God keeps giving me things I don’t know how to do and things I don’t want to do.  The Lord called me to teach school, and He gave me a choir class.  I’d taken some education courses for teaching English, but here came music.  I’d never officially studied voice, and I took piano lessons only a short time in elementary school.  Soon I found myself to be the only piano player within miles, and I had several ensembles with complicated accompaniments and still more high school solos sprouting around.  And as for teaching English, though I did have some training, English wasn’t even close to being my favorite subject.  On top of that, writing can be painfully laborious for me, and I’m a slow reader.  When the Lord called me to publish a book, I had to dive into a new world that didn’t look attractive.  I knew little about publishers and even less about the details of formatting and illustration and cost.  Unconfident of my own writing, I hesitated.  Each of these scenarios required prayer and patience and practice, and all 3 go against the human grain.  I love to learn, but it’s different when somebody besides me assigns the task.  Maybe for a change, I’d like to choose the what, when, and how.  But truthfully, when I step back to view the whole picture, I love letting God lead.  His projects have bigger scope and greater blessing.  In actuality, I am prepared for the tasks He gives me.  The Lord gives lots of on-the-job training.  With each new task, I’m mentally fatigued at first to realize I’m headed down another new road, but then I realize my role is still primarily to know Him.  He will order the steps.  Know the Lord through the Bible, and pray.  Be patient, and stay alert.  It’s not a formula but rather His way of letting me live out my faith.  I’ve experienced Him transforming my anxiety and fear into peace.  He has changed my dread into eager anticipation.  Even if I feel like I’m flying loosely into new situations, I’m actually prepared.  My preparedness is in knowing Him.  Proverbs 3:5-6