Quaked, then resurrected

One earthquake.  Days later, another earthquake.  I imagine every inch of land being affected.  The quake that came with His death brought rocks to split and tombs to break open as well.  And how would that look?  I can hardly fathom the rocks.  Going for a stroll and suddenly seeing rocks of all sizes splitting in half?  And between the 2 quakes mentioned in Matthew 27 and 28, the one at Jesus’ resurrection is noted as violent, which shows me this idea of bringing life from death really does turn our way of thinking upside down.  The idea of Jesus dying in order to give us new life really is revolutionary.  Even the land didn’t know how to witness the magnitude of what was happening.  The sun stopped shining for hours, and our earth was essentially gasping for air.  It would inhale a new Presence, a new beginning.  And I thank the Lord that I may be intrigued countless times at His power to affect our world.

A bundle of nerves

Ibuprofen didn’t help. The pain in my shoulders would not relent. From the moment I awoke, my legs ached as well, and only when the ibuprofen proved ineffective did I realize it was anxiety that sat deep in my bones. My first performance with this children's theater was weeks down the road. Theater in general was still relatively new for me, and quite possibly I could have these aches and pains for a good while, though I knew the Lord would be with me. One morning I arrived to volunteer at the hospital and quickly found myself in the grip of a gigantic hug. It was the kind that holds for a long time, leaving no room for my anxieties to tremble. What a pleasure to tell my friend how the Lord used her snug arms to bless me. Along the way too, the Lord was with me at the piano. I sat down one day to play “Breath of Heaven,” yet before too long, the Lord took my fingers on a mesmerizing path that melted the tensions in my shoulders. I remember neither the individual keys my fingers played nor the sequences of the notes. The experience enveloped me completely, lifting me into a protected, cushioned world, free of anxiety. I sought to relive the escape many times, finding its replication unattainable, yet its memory providing remarkable peace.  One afternoon, the Lord gave me a lunchtime with friends that brought great laughter, letting my eyes cry away the day's tension. Still another day, my heart leaped when I walked into Bible study and was asked to facilitate the group. Maybe no one knew how sweetly the occasion touched my heart, as I’d reminisced this year for no longer hosting a group in my home. The Lord continued the string of blessings right up to the day of our theater performances, which interestingly left me more concerned that our props wouldn't fly away with the gusts of wind outside, and more distracted by the drips of sweat running underneath my rabbit costume. All the while I had kept working to memorize my theater lines, and all the while the Lord calmed each day's circumstances. My nervous aches and pains had reminded me to seek Him. The pain I didn’t want, He turned into blessing.

Guidance . . . why wait? (Part 2)

The Lord had given me Psalm 25 to memorize.  I did start the process from the first verse onward.  Some months later, my principal advised that the school would not renew my teaching contract.  Suddenly I felt bruised and shaky.  My head whirled fast like a tornado was crashing everything inside.  Sometimes I couldn’t sleep at night, and still too I felt sorry for my principal, who had clearly been through a wrestling match himself in preparing to deliver me the news.  Looking at my span of teaching years, I was going from Teacher of the Year at one school to losing my job at another.  Yet soon I began to see the beauty of the Lord’s guidance.  One sleepless night, He reminded me that no one whose hope is in Him will ever be put to shame.  In the midst of my wounds and weakness, He was showing me verse 3 of Psalm 25 all over again.  He knew I would need to rely on those words, and He enabled me to recite that psalm, even amidst the agonizing pain that had swallowed me whole.  I kept asking the Lord to lead me through, and I sensed Him saying to keep in mind these two words: honesty and respect.  And indeed the two words held crucial in dealing with bitterness among students and fellow teachers for all kinds of reasons in the remaining weeks of school.  One weekend, my daughter was checking her financial account online for college, and she asked, “Hey, Mom, what’s all this new money doing in my account?”  I cry still today to realize how the Lord increased her scholarships to compensate for the fact that I wouldn’t be teaching the next year.  And at school I had multiple opportunities to tell my students how the Lord was providing for my family and that He would provide for them too.  The Lord’s blessings were abundant, pouring through words of kindness from many directions.  I pondered whether the Lord could call someone to lose their job, and I knew the answer was ‘yes.’  He calls people to lose their lives sometimes, and certainly He could call someone to testify in losing their job.  Mine was a painstaking experience that is now a favorite story.  The Lord had guided me all along—before the storm and through it as well.

Guidance . . . why wait? (Part 1)

Give and receive.  Speak and listen.  They are components of conversation.  They can also be components of relationship.  Author John Ortberg discusses the issue of people wanting God’s guidance.  When is it that we seek Him?  In Chapter 9 of his book The Life You’ve Always Wanted, Ortberg suggests we ask ourselves the question, “How often do I seek God’s guidance when I’m not facing trouble or a difficult decision?”  Do we consult the Lord only when our angst hits its hilt?  And how do we recognize His guidance anyway?  Ortberg encourages us to seek God before a crisis hits.  Don’t wait for a storm.  Ask the Lord to grow us internally to know His truth and joy now, to fortify us before the pressures swell.  Certainly the apostle Paul endured many storms.  He was shipwrecked, stoned, and beaten with rods.  He withstood hunger, thirst, and lack of sleep.  Yet he recognized the Lord’s provision of an angel, as told in Acts 27.  Paul heeded the angel’s message and found courage also for the sake of his shipmates.  The Lord did guide Paul.  And today the Lord desires to relate to us, to converse, to speak and listen, to give and receive—and guide throughout.  Lord, may we recognize Your voice and find joy in following Your hand. 

A chicken in the road

“Why did the chicken cross the road?”  That question has headlined a whole series of jokes.  It’s blossomed into jokes about turtles crossing the road, and lawyers crossing the road, and rubber chickens, and just about anything you want.  But last week a chicken really was in my street, and it wasn’t simply crossing to the other side.  God had reason for that chicken being there.  I’d been intending to talk to my new neighbor for months.  In fact, it’s sad that my neighbor isn’t really new anymore, and until her chicken was in the street, I’d spent all this time harboring the notion of meeting her, yet I didn’t carry through.  This particular afternoon, I neared my house and saw my neighbor plunging into the street to grab what looked like a chicken.  Without hesitation, I hopped out of the car and walked across to inquire.  The Lord knew I would want to see my neighbor’s animals, and hence His wonderful creativity shined again.  I imagined Him saying, “Well, I’ve given Linda the notion and ample opportunity, yet she’s not carrying through, so I’ll make it happen.”  And what a very friendly neighbor I do have.  So nice to talk instead of just waving ‘hello.’  In Numbers 22, the Lord opened a donkey’s mouth to talk.  In Exodus 3, the Lord spoke from within a bush.  In Daniel 5, He caused the fingers of a human hand to suddenly write on a wall.  And here last week He used a brown-feathered fowl to arouse a much-anticipated conversation. 

Spanish with purpose

Yesterday held great excitement for me as a non-native Spanish-speaker.  Three different Spanish conversations fell in my lap.  First, speaking with a man waiting in a pregnancy center.  Second, speaking on the street with a man playing beautiful music on a wooden recorder.  Third, speaking with a woman who heard the recorder music and walked down the street with her poodle to come see.  My excitement runs high because my quest toward Spanish hasn’t been merely for the sake of language.  A year and a half ago, the Lord led my husband and me to a Spanish worship service.  We quickly loved the congregation and still do.  From there till now, I’ve ventured among Spanish dictionaries, Spanish Bible, Spanish library books, and all kinds of Spanish conversations into which I usually have to insert some English.  While the Lord has encouraged me with new friendships, I do still stumble through the language.  So now for the man at the pregnancy center to ask me, ¿Como lo aprendió?, and for my ears to actually catch his quick question as to how I'm learning the language, was really quite remarkable.  And for my heart not to hesitate to compliment in Spanish the man’s beautiful recorder music was astounding to me.  Suddenly my ears were quick, and the words flowed without struggle.  I see more and more the Lord's purposes.  He does encourage along our way.  He will finish what He starts in us, as Philippians 1:6 says. 

Walls with doors

Where will the Lord lead?  I’ve asked Him to set my feet in motion.  This year He has led me to study during the week with a church around the corner, and it’s been wonderfully sweet to meet a new group of Christians and see the Lord at work in my neighborhood.  One question: “Why not study with my weekend congregation?”  Answer: This is where the Lord led me.  I don’t have all the answers.  On the weekends, I study and worship in a building that houses different congregations in 3 languages.  I attend the English at 8:00 and the Spanish at 10:30.  There already I interact with different groups of people, all under one roof.  Why on weekends do my husband and I drive for 30 minutes, going east across town to church?  Answer:  That’s where the Lord led us.  Again I don’t have all the answers.  Over the years I’ve been blessed through ministries of various congregations: writers’ groups on both the north and the northeast sides of town, messianic celebrations on all 4 sides, street ministries downtown, and a government and politically oriented group more north central.  Churches don’t have to compete.  It’s one of the many freedoms we find in the Lord: go where He calls us, without worrying about all the reasons.  I’m aware of a church in Austin, Texas, that contributes financially to the ministries of other churches whose locations and servant groups are well placed as they are.  This particular church sees no need to build their own similar ministry.  When Jesus talks about the church, He often refers not to a single, small group of people but rather the church overall.  We live and work and serve in buildings that have walls, but the walls don’t have to confine us.  Walls do have doors.  Enter as the Lord leads.

The vehicle of music

She sat a few rows back. I stood at the piano in front, looking out across the congregation while still listening to the sermon. Here at the end of the worship service, most everyone’s eyes were fixed upon the preacher. Her eyes had drifted my way, and without knowing her name, I was very happy for us to meet as we did. I smiled, and so did she. It was opportunity to welcome her to our church. Over the years, I’ve asked the Lord to be my music teacher, and He has shown His purposes to be more than musical. Though He has wonderfully stretched my fingers to play notes and chords I didn’t think possible, music has not been simply an end product. More often music has been a vehicle to deliver something else. Last Sunday with our study group, I shared a story that posed the question, “What would this world be like if no one cared who got credit for what they did?” Many in the group suddenly stopped what they were doing, whether sitting or standing, to ponder. The story fit with the song we planned to sing, and I sang the first verse, only to notice the effects of the question still lingering throughout the room. People remained quiet to think. Our group had asked my husband and me to lead music, long before we ever knew we'd retell that story.  Music had served as the vehicle for delivering the story, just as my standing at the piano allowed me to welcome a girl from across the room. I’ve seen the Lord use a simple, little melody to set a deeply thought-provoking tone. Other times He’s used a laughable clunker of a note to ease someone’s burden. In infinite ways, He uses music—for the sake of people.

In a hospital elevator

“We’ll never go out of business—that’s for sure.”  These two hospital workers chuckled about their own job security, given the seemingly endless line of incoming patients.  And they’re correct about the fact that here on earth we certainly do deal with sickness, from the aches and pains of the common cold, all the way through to life-threatening disease and never-before-seen symptoms.  But what if the prayers of a hospital staff were so fervent that patients were quickly and regularly being sent home?  Would the staff actually have reason to worry about their jobs?  It’d be like firefighters worrying about a day without fires and police officers worrying about a day without crime.  Our call to prayer remains.  Concern for our jobs is not foremost.  A pastor once said, “I don’t want to stand before God's judgment seat and tell Him I was worried about losing my job, and that’s why I didn’t speak out or follow Him through doors He opened for me.”  This pastor has a point.  Is it possible the Lord could call me to lose my job?  Sure.  I lost a teaching job about 5 years ago, and I will gladly testify again and again to the Lord's blessings throughout.  Sometimes He calls people to lose their lives.  For that matter, God our Father called Jesus to surrender His life.  Most important is for us to know the Lord and follow Him, resting assured that He knows every hair on our heads and will provide for our needs—jobs and all.  As Romans 14 talks about His judgment seat, I want to be able to freely and joyfully account for myself before Him when that day comes.  The next time I visit a friend in a hospital, might I hear workers in the elevator telling wonderful stories of prayer and how the Lord heals?  I’ll hope big.

A toothbrush, a mattress, & generosity

A young lady rode 2 buses across many miles of our city, from south to north, all for the sake of donating a new toothbrush and a small tube of toothpaste.  She called out from across the parking lot in hope she wasn’t too late to give with the radiothon that would benefit local flood victims.  Another family drove up with a well-used mattress, held in place atop their station wagon by 6 arms stretched up and out the open windows.  Their generous contribution may have left part of the family sleeping on bare floor that night.  Altogether, people donated a truckload of food, thousands of dollars, and over a hundred pints of blood.  It was a wonderful occasion that caused me to check my pulse once again.  How do I give?  Do I dig deep to give wholeheartedly, or do I merely skim off the top?  Is there anything I grip too tightly for myself?  And why did I almost cry to read about the young lady traversing the city on 2 buses?  It’s partly because I’ve ridden our buses, and I know how the different routes can take half-hours and hours to connect, and I love this young lady’s willingness and determination to give. God has these gentle ways of inspiring us—sometimes through written stories, like the one by Sonny Melendrez in Welcome Home that reflected recently on San Antonio's flood days of 1998; sometimes through song lyrics; sometimes through photographs of people we’ll never meet and who have no idea we notice their example.  The last verses of 1 Timothy talk about a generous heart laying up treasure.  I ask the Lord to lead me to be generous.