Do I have to go?

Do Christians have to go to church?  It’s a longstanding question.  I answer here from the perspective of blessing.  Basically, church can wear me out, but for good reason.  With church comes an excitement I love that can lead to a Sunday afternoon nap.  One particular Sunday morning, the Lord poured blessings through the song “Amazing Grace.”  How many thousands of renditions of the song have been offered over the years?  God designed this one for guitar and oboe within a small congregation.  We were solely instrumental at first, joined later with lyrics.  The Lord planted the idea for this instrumental version months ahead, as we sorted through earlier attempts to play the song and found it unfitting until this particular Sunday.  As the traditional melody floated through some ad libs here and there, I looked for the Lord.  He adjusted my embouchure to compensate for my lack of warmup between venues.  He led my fingers to notes on the oboe that blended with my husband’s on the guitar.  He gave flexibility to our group in watching for cues to wait or move ahead.  Within one heart, particularly mine, in maybe less than 15 minutes, the Lord blessed in multiple ways.  Over all, He showed how He prompts an idea and carries it through.  Regularly I ask Him to sing through my oboe, and though I don’t play so much anymore and I’ve lost much of the technique I used to have, He gives a sense of His presence in the resonance through the horn.  Experiences like this are invigorating.  Put together a morningful of blessings that seem to stretch the heart to a new capacity, and sometimes it’s almost too much to handle.  Sometimes I wonder if my knees will buckle and I’ll melt under the weight of blessing.  Yet why would I want to live without blessings that so wonderfully impact my whole being?  Am I forced to attend church?  No.  But God blesses immensely through the church.  Not every Christian has the physical means to travel to a church’s meeting place.  But if you can travel, I encourage all to ask the Lord to lead you.  It’s not a matter of checking an attendance box.  I hope you’ll attend because you want to know the Lord in the midst of the church.  I’ve prayed for you already.

Prayer & a party hat

I’d been wondering about a certain verse.  Knew it was in the Bible but not sure where.  I asked God to show me the verse.  One afternoon my eyes spotted it in the midst of Matthew’s fourth chapter.  Verse 4 says, “… Man does not live on bread alone…”  Seems endless the number of times I’ve heard that quote.  How many food companies have adapted it for their advertisements?  How many motivational speeches have included it?  Yet the portion often quoted is not the complete sentence.  Jesus says, “It is written:  ‘Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”  Similar words are in Deuteronomy 8:3.  Tangible, edible bread contributes to our physical survival, but our ultimate sustenance, our ultimate need for all aspects of life, is the Word of God.  The wisdom in the verse is a blessing.  But now we look beyond the verse.  Remember I asked God to show me this verse in the Bible?  He did answer my prayer.  That’s a BIG DEAL because it means He listened to the request of an ordinary girl in an ordinary place.  We’re all ordinary, and can’t we be glad the Lord hears the common man?  We often fill the air with our requests of God, but what about our thank-you’s?  Do we offer thank-you’s and celebrate with Him?  When God answers a prayer, it’s time for a party!  Don’t talk yourself out of the great joy we should take in realizing an answer to prayer.  It’s huge news!  Put on one of those pointy party hats with the stretchy band under the chin.  Celebrate with the Lord first.  Include Him at the top of the party list.  Bake the cake, and expect Him at the front door.  He provides our bread and answers our prayers, and how cool is that!

A new idea, but now what?

A new and exciting idea floats through the brain, and we can be eager to use it.  Why wait?  Back in 1995 as I curled up on the sofa to read one of Jack London's many, the Lord gave me an astounding experience that let me know I would do some writing about slavery.  Though intimidated at first, I did want to stay attuned to the idea of writing.  I dabbled around with it a bit.  In 2002, I quit teaching school to allow some concentrated writing time.  In 2010, I published a book, though on a different subject.  All this to say the initial idea to write prompted much prayer over a period of many years.  Yet on a different occasion when God gave me the idea to teach homebound students, I was quickly on the job in less than a month.  It also was many years from the time the idea of jail ministry first caught my interest up to the December afternoon in 2009 when a phone call with a chaplain appeared to formally connect all the dots.  And one idea that’s still in progress is last summer’s notion to make a video to accompany my bus book.  I’ve seen a few puzzle pieces connect, though many questions remain, and I continue to seek the Lord’s guidance.  To jump in and buy a camera and spend hours and days putting a video together doesn’t seem the thing to do, at least not yet.  Sometimes our new idea is God’s preview of what is to come.  In our waiting, He prepares us, maybe connecting us with people in certain circumstances to accomplish His larger purpose.  One aspect of Christian living that absolutely thrills my heart is realizing how one blessing, perhaps one answer to prayer, is really only a portion of a whole set of blessings all delicately and lovingly designed by God to touch many, many people.  And because God works in infinite ways, what about those occasions when He calls us to act quickly, when not every new idea is a years-ahead preview?  Suddenly our constant prayer and study of the Bible become all the more important.  I want to know God all the while, before and during and after each new idea, asking Him to make my decisions His.  Lord, is this new idea from You?  Don’t let me get carried away with it simply out of my own enjoyment.  Keep me waiting till You deem the time best.  Lead my decisions.

A retreat at the cross

We had a whole slew of differences.  We had a gymnastics coach, an interpreter for the deaf, and a tree trimmer and a fence builder.  We had a hair stylist, a production manager, a history professor, and a guitar salesman.  Few knew the same occupation.  We studied, we sang, we prayed and told stories of God.  We played ping pong, dominoes, charades, and ate loads of brownies and popcorn.  All the while, the Lord knitted people together.  Some of us arrived without knowing each others’ names.  And as we spent time together, our roles did occasionally change.  The gymnastics coach led line-dancing for those who wanted to twirl while they sang.  Our friend who was trained as a social worker became an on-the-spot marriage counselor.  Our science teacher became a dramatist.  Some speakers became listeners.  Our differences became likenesses as we served each other.  We heard how our friend who had been a drug addict found peace through knowing Christ.  We heard how one friend had once preferred aloneness but now found the company of people enjoyable and helpful.  One who had felt outcast was blessed to find acceptance now.  And I’m pretty sure none of us knew that our friend who is blind had an enjoyment for playing drums, and the fact that he felt the freedom to pick up the sticks to play with the band that night inspired us all.  …  The Lord has all kinds of reasons for bringing people together.  Those unemployed by society’s standards can be wonderfully employed by the Lord—no paycheck required.  Our cook may keep cooking.  Our teacher’s assistant may still work at a school.  Our nursing student may practice nursing for 30 years.  But no matter our formal training or lack thereof, the Lord has additional roles in mind.  The Lord loves to use people who are willing to follow Him and deny the what-if’s that torment the human brain when we don’t know the whole scope of a task.  He’s looking for people who will risk their human embarrassment to delve into a role He may not entirely reveal at the beginning.  He loves for us to commit to Him without looking at our bank accounts and for us to prioritize His desires higher than our own comfort.  We can find peace in knowing the Lord holds us in the palm of His hand, and His hand does not falter.  In fact, He has inscribed us on the palms of His hands (Isaiah 49:15).  Our common ground with people is the cross of Jesus Christ, and it’s exciting to see how God connects people with Him in mind.  More important than what we do is who we are as children of God.  Ours was a wonderful weekend retreat.

Singing from the depths

Something new happened when our jail choir rehearsed one particular weekend.  The voices resonated so fully that my feet tingled.  I had to curl my toes to make sure the nerves in my feet were still working.  The lyrics of “I Will Rise” suggested such love and yearning for the Lord that the moment left me almost numb.  And I love to relive this wonderful experience that happened in a jail--a place that some say encompasses the darkest darkness.  So how is it that God brings good from bad?  Why are thousands of inspiring songs rooted in misery and heartache?  What about the spirituals sung in the midst of slavery?  Do people sing to help pass the time?  Or is it because singing can replace anxiety?  Ultimately, God loves to rescue us.  At our lowest low may be the time we’re willing to look up to Him.  The rest of the time we tend to frolic through life on our own terms.  Last summer, my husband and I found ourselves in a huge legal mess that we didn’t understand, yet because of this mess, we sought the Lord fervently.  We wouldn’t have chosen the circumstances for ourselves, but the result of holding close to the Lord was a blessing all the same.  It’s from that low point, at that time when life looks desperately bleak, that our view becomes more simplistic.  Movies and electronic gadgets don’t satisfy anymore.  Our perspective has trimmed down to life, death, bread, and water.  We’re forced to ponder and pray and wait on the Lord.  Our lowest lows are not altogether bad.

The office

I met a man who worked in an office.  Nothing unusual, except for the fact that he worked in the office even on a day he designated for vacation.  He said he had nothing better to do. …  So I stopped to think.  How sad was his comment.  But is that me?  Am I ever uncomfortable with empty time?  Am I restless when things are unstructured?  How do I handle new circumstances?  Usually I can think of an endless list of fun things to do, yet I lack the time to do them all.  Honestly I love the ordinary day, and I generally view life as vibrant and exciting, especially when God throws me a creative curve I didn’t expect.  But I can recall days when I’ve opted for the road of familiarity.  One summer day, I didn’t want to exert the mental energy to learn some new guitar chords, so I played a familiar tune on the piano instead.  And I probably played it numerous times, hoping the guitar-playing idea that nagged my brain would leave by the time I finished at the piano.  On a different occasion, I remember debating whether to go talk to my new neighbor, erroneously entertaining the thought that if I went to talk once, I wouldn’t have the time and energy to check on her regularly, so why bother in the beginning.  And sometimes I’ve felt exhausted at the mere mention of planning a vacation, so consequently I’ve abandoned the whole notion and opted for staying at home.  So, yes, I am somewhat like my friend on the bus who spent his vacation working at his office.  Yet I know deep down that the Lord has given me wonderfully exciting experiences that came from stepping outside the norm and following through with what can feel humanly risky.  Christianity is not a life of laziness and selfish ways.  But if we find ourselves in those modes, God will forgive upon our asking.  And He will supply our courage to restart and bless us for having sought Him.

One day becomes one month

A particular phone call last week delivered a huge blessing.  I’d been praying for the friend who called me, as we had watched her outpatient surgery transform into a month-long hospital stay.  Complications of infection and excruciating pain were at the forefront.  How was all this happening?  Yet we continued to pray.  Then came her phone call.  At a moment when I sat on the couch and had no idea the voice on the phone would be hers, I was amazed.  Not surprised, but amazed to see how the Lord had been working all along.  My friend’s voice now had energy, and I could hear her sense of humor.  Through her days of heavy sedation and subsequent surgeries, the Lord had sustained my friend, and this was a remarkable milestone. …  I love surprises.  Better than that, I love to be amazed at the Lord.  If the idea of prayer is new for you, Matthew 6 offers some insight.  May the Lord give you an immense excitement for prayer.   May He bless you to witness Him at work. 

A prayer for protection

The seating arrangement became eerie.  I felt a hand squeeze my upper arm, and I turned toward the man on my right.  With his head tilted completely sideways and his chest leaning forward, his neck was twisted tightly to glare up at me.  His ogling eyes zoomed further in my direction, and I was soon uncomfortable.  His mouth was moving, and I assumed he wanted to say something, though I could hear only a scratchy sound.  Some kind of a high pitch filtered softly through his voice.  Looking at him, I shook my head to indicate I did not understand.  Then I returned my gaze to the front of the bus.  Yet the murmur of his voice continued, and I felt another nudge of his leg.  I had tried to ignore the first nudge, in hope that it was unintentional.   Now I looked at the man again, and the whole aura was becoming even more disconcerting.  His almost ethereal whisper pressed louder as he said, “Come on! You got to have 50 cents!”  I motioned with my hand and verbally emphasized “No” and likewise shook my head.  And silently I asked the Lord to protect me.  My eyes quickly scanned the bus for options.  Hardly a seat was vacant for moving away from the man, as we’d hosted an active turnstile of passengers.  The man's increasingly invasive ways seemed unending.  Finally, I walked up to ask the driver if my stop would be announced.  I didn’t want to make a mistake my first time on this route.  Turns out the driver was quite the conversationalist, lending me to stand near him till reaching my stop.  I figured God used the driver to deliver me.  …  Overall, my distinct impression was that Satan was messing with me.  For 4 years, God has used our city buses to connect me with people for His wonderful purposes.  What God uses for good, Satan can attempt to use for bad.  Here now I did not want the bad to dissuade me from fulfilling my call.  Subsequent to this particularly unfun incident, a different bus trip led me to the immense pleasure of telling someone about Jesus.  I do realize there may be a day when my bus trips cease.  But not this week.

Movies & comments

Just watched Julie & Julia.  Pretty cute.  A friend told me it was about blogging.  And a line in the movie did set something straight for me.  At times, I’ve pondered what I might change in this blog.  Do I need to personalize it somehow?  I’ve wondered if you as a reader are connecting with the stories.  Is the way I’m writing too distant?  Then in the movie I hear Julie say, “What do you think a blog is?  It’s me, me, me day after day.”  Well, that is one thing I don’t want.  I don’t want a blog all about me.  And so I go back to the idea of personalizing.  Readers, please know I started this whole thing because I sensed the Lord prompting.  And He could certainly include you in the development process.  If there’s something you would find helpful in this blog, please send me a comment or an email.  I have prayed for you, though we haven't met.  I would consider it a blessing and entirely fun to hear from you.

Unseen

Morphine did not erase the underlying anxiety from her surgical complication.  I visited my friend in the hospital.  As I sat on the side of her bed, this sweet friend asked me to pray.  I held her hand and asked for the Lord’s presence ultimately.  Beeping sounds and blinking lights don’t make for calmness.  Even the dings of the elevators remind us something’s wrong and we’re not at home.  I hoped for the peace of prayer to ease my friend’s mind, and indeed she said later that she felt the Lord’s peace.  Yet when opening my eyes after our prayer, I noticed someone standing beyond my right shoulder.  A member of the surgical team had been waiting while we prayed.  Her presence was unanticipated by us, yet I was happy she was there for however long.  Then the opportunity to pray broadened to include blessings upon this surgical team member.  The Lord’s orchestration again.  We simply go about living as He teaches, and He handles the connecting of people.  Unseen at first.