Funerals are rough.
They hold all kinds of emotions.
When my brother-in-law passed away last month, we felt the whole gamut. As people exited after the funeral, a neighbor stopped to introduce himself. “My name is . . . I watched westerns with your brother, and we
read the Bible.” He smiled to continue, “When
Bonanza came on, well, it was TV time. Then
later we’d go back and read.” With not
too many words, this neighbor had garnered my complete attention, and I posed to
shake his hand in admiration. He was a
guy who spoke the name of the Lord in the ordinary day. He included the Bible just casually in conversation
with whomever he met. It’s part of what
John 15 says in the context of the vine and the branches. “If you remain in me and my words remain in
you . . .” This neighbor kept God’s word
remaining in him as he opened the Bible’s pages and invited
others to join in. It’s encouragement for
all of us to not wait for Sundays to roll around as our only Jesus Day. Jesus
says too in verse 16, “. . . go and bear fruit—fruit that will
last. . .” And as our world desperately needs the name of Jesus the entire 7 days of the week, may the Lord give us joy for walking through the different doors of conversation He opens. The more we talked that
afternoon at the funeral home, the more I loved this neighbor who spent time
with my brother-in-law. They barbecued,
they read the Bible, they prayed, and I smile to imagine all the Bonanza and Gunsmoke
episodes they watched.
Friday, May 23, 2014
Saturday, May 10, 2014
Agony of carcinoma
The man finished brushing his teeth and swung his wheelchair
away from the sink. “No more prayer!” he
exclaimed. “No more prayer!” I had simply knocked on his door with an
offer to help. Actually he did welcome
me in, though his words turned sharp. “I’ve
been prayed for in Jerusalem. I’ve been prayed for in Mexico. I’ve been prayed for here in San
Antonio. God
cannot change the carcinoma on my lung.
He cannot change any of this.
It’s written on my hospital papers.”
I silently nodded to acknowledge his words, and he leaned toward me, seeming disturbed
that I didn’t quickly agree. “I don’t
think you understand,” he continued. “God
cannot change my diagnosis. It’s on my
papers,” and he pointed to the medical records area down the hall. I followed his hand gestures and facial
expressions closely, wanting to respect all of what he was telling, though it
seemed my silence frustrated him. Again
he stated, “I don’t think you understand me!” This time I replied, “We may just
see things differently.” I smiled in
hope of easing any anxiety about our differences, but in actuality, the
opposite seemed to happen. With growing
agitation, he posed the question, “Do you know the worst thing that can happen
to a man?” I waited for his answer. “It’s pain,” he declared. “My pain is awful. It’s absolutely awful.” And suddenly I wondered if all this time he
was meaning something he really didn’t say.
He was exhausted and worn from fighting through pain, and maybe he didn’t
want his diagnosis changed. Perhaps he
didn’t want to live anymore. The possibility of
someone praying to reverse that proclamation of death might cause
him great heartache. And in that moment, I did
the very thing he didn’t want. Not in
spite, not as a slap in the face, but wholly in support of his dire situation,
I quietly prayed for the Lord to touch this man who has had pain screaming at him so loud
for so many years. Colossians 3:12-13 says,
“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves
with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other . . .” This was my opportunity to bear with this man. I came to his hospital room not to argue. I watched for a pause in his words that I could politely exit, and he could then
rest. “I have been blessed to meet you
today, Sir. Thank you for your time to
talk.” I stood to smile, and he waved without
any apparent angst. May the Lord comfort him.
Monday, April 28, 2014
The cupcake lady
Cynicism is contagious.
It’s infectious. The doubt and distrust
become so deeply engrained that we don’t recognize the harm they cause. But just when you’re convinced the whole
world is horrible and that altruism is dead, here comes the cupcake lady. She quietly sets up shop and exudes this
wonderfully inspiring generosity. My
friend met her in the grocery store. The
cupcake lady approached the check-out lane where my friend is a cashier. She loaded her groceries from the cart, and
as my friend scanned each item, the cupcake lady planted a seed. My friend saw the baking cups and all the
cupcake ingredients and inquired as they rode the conveyor belt. Little did she know she would ever meet the
cupcake lady again. Then came a particularly interesting
bus ride. It happened on another day that my friend and the
cupcake lady rode the very same bus at the very same time. Because cashiers
at grocery stores see all kinds of people, some days are quite trying. Too many instances of people mistreating
their children, too many scenarios of people abusing welfare systems, and the
list goes on and on. So to meet the
cupcake lady on the bus and realize she made some special cupcakes for a
very sweet cashier was quite timely. Her generosity hit the spot. Why would the cupcake lady bake cupcakes for a cashier she
hardly knew and make an extra trip to the store to deliver them, though she
wasn’t sure the cashier would even be working then? Here the Lord connects the 2 people on the
bus, making certain the cupcake lady’s efforts don't go in vain. How sweet is that! I loved just hearing the story. I'm inspired, and I’ve never personally met the cupcake lady. And so I ask
on your behalf for the Lord to send a cupcake lady to your neighborhood. May the Lord encourage you and protect
you from that cynicism to which we're all susceptible.
Monday, April 14, 2014
At the library conference
Just show up. That’s
the first step. If we talk ourselves out
of that, we lose any chance of seeing what God had in mind. Two years ago, I showed up for a
theater audition. Community theater
decided to let me play an annoying nurse, and that led to my part-time role now
with a touring group that serves schools and libraries. This past Thursday, I took a turn manning our
booth at a library conference, and lo and behold, look what happens. A librarian visits our booth and asks, “So
how did you get into theater?”
Answer: God. That night I attended a sketching class at
our local library. Still wearing my
theater shirt and cap, the girl next to me asked, “So how did you get into
theater?” Answer: God.
And each time, my heart leaped.
With each occasion, I was humbled to realize I would’ve never known
those sweet moments if I hadn’t have shown up for that first audition years
ago. “Lord, lead me. Set my feet in motion.” I relied on Psalms 37, 94, 121, and all those
verses that say He won’t let our feet slip, all leading up to gleefully and
giddily getting to answer somebody’s simple question, “So how did you get into
theater?” He makes the day much more than hosting a
theater booth. He shines His
light upon a sketching class for it to become an opportunity to encourage. But the first step is to show up.
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
Not just playing opossum
Look at these opossums!
What a surprise when my neighbor found them behind her back
gate! One mom, at least 5 babies, all
taking up residence in an empty flower pot underneath the yard tools. Makes me think of a certain email the other
day. This email arrived a certain inbox of
a certain sweet girl. Her inbox looked to
be nothing unusual, but having been quite stressed just the previous afternoon by the
details of planning her wedding, and in particular the task of designing her
invitations, this sweet girl was about to discover something huge within that
little email. That previous day’s
frustration had led to prayer. That
previous day’s prayer led to those moments when we wait. How would the Lord answer? And yet here came this simple email
that advertised some new fonts, with one specific font being a wonderful fit
for solving her design woes. The
delivery was actually quite huge. Such a steep
precipice of blessing lends us toward humility all over again. The impeccable timing is what often sets apart the
works of God, and we just never know exactly how, where, and when we’ll see Him
during the ordinary day. Maybe in a
family of squiggly baby opossums that prompts us to ponder. Maybe when dredging the deep,
dark, endless queue of emails that we thought we would dread. Acts 1:7 says, “It is not for you to know the
times or dates the Father has set by his own authority.” And I can see that I wouldn’t want to know
everything ahead of time. That inner
gasp of amazement I wouldn’t want to lose.
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Revisiting the old neighborhood
Remember your childhood house? Mine was near Lackland Air Force Base. Our little pink asbestos-shingled abode served as shelter for 4, and we played baseball in the front and ate hamburgers at our picnic table in the back. I've driven by the old place several times since, and actually the notion of revisiting comes to mind because
a friend recently revisited his high school neighborhood. Beginning to miss some of his buddies, he headed toward his old stomping ground after work one night. Along the way, he talked with the Lord and valued the time. Then when
he arrived, the message hit hard. Misery set in. He turned off the ignition, just sat in the car, and felt anger and sorrow refloat to the top. Seeing the old school reminded him of former drug
abuse. Seeing his apartment brought
back the days when his mom supplied alcohol and partied with his friends. His visit became an hour flooded with heartache
from life’s worst times. Yet there was some good
in all this. As pain can grow humility, all the devastating memories and all the shame and regret served to deepen my friend's
gratitude toward the Lord. If still living in his old ways, he says he might be sitting in jail or maybe even dead, and now how earnestly he appreciates the Lord delivering him. He was newly
inspired to live humbly and take the Lord seriously and not waste his second chances. No more self-righteousness. And so my friend poses some questions for all of us, “Is there somewhere we need to revisit
today? Somewhere I need to go? How about you?"
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
A hospital mop & a string of questions
Hospitals are horrible.
That’s what some people say. The
sterile hallways. All the blinking
lights and beeps from the machines. It
can be scary. But today I share a hospital
story that has the Lord’s light shined into it.
One Friday last month, I visited a friend whose surgery would be the
next week. Part of her preparation for
surgery involved discontinuing her blood-thinner, and doing so required an
early hospital check-in. By outward
appearance, you’d never know the medical turmoil this friend has endured. She’s one whose gracious smile simply beams
into every corner of the room. Her bed
was on the far side this time. Having greeted
her roommate first, I walked across toward the window to hug my friend. We talked for a while. We sat.
We talked more and just kept company.
Then sitting bedside for us to pray, I could hear new activity in the
room. Continuing to pray, I heard the click
of a mop, like when the mop head hits the handle. My eyes opened to a new voice that promptly said, “You
know just the right words.” I turned to
acknowledge the speaker, who I then saw was a female member of the hospital’s housekeeping
department. Already I loved the fact that
she felt comfortable enough to jump right into conversation. And indeed she was just getting started, for a whole
string of energetic questions ensued. “How
do you know God is real?” “What about in
the beginning? How does the idea of
Jesus go back to the very beginning of the world?” And the list went on. Her inquiries hit deep, they made me think,
and I loved it. I stood in awe of the
Lord’s orchestration. He had set a surgery
schedule, a visitation schedule, and a cleaning schedule to all intersect that
day around lunchtime. The intricate
detail of when we would each depart our separate homes and each enter the parking
lot, the elevators, and even that particular room on the 7th floor was all orchestrated by God.
The idea is evidenced in 1 John 1:7, which says, “But if we walk in the
light, as he [God] is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and
the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.” As we seek the Lord and walk about this
earth, He’s going to connect us in some amazing ways. The light He shines will bring paths to
intersect and send forth a fountainous fellowship of joy. And contrary to what some say about hospitals, these moments on this Friday were quite wonderful. Thank
you, Lord.
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
A plea of 30 years
Is there any limit to how long a story of God might inspire? Is there ever a life span on the works of the
Lord? This past Saturday I witnessed a
story reaching ahead almost 3 decades. It
started around 1985 with one lady asking God to take her to heaven. Life was miserable at the time, and she
pleaded. She remembers God
responding, “I cannot use you for the people of this earth when you’re dead.” And that reply rejuvenated her. Now fast-forward almost 30 yrs. In 2014 there’s a 21-year-old who is very
sick with Crohn’s disease. He’s frail. He’s hardly more than skin and bones, and he
tells his aunt he wants the Lord to take him to heaven. The lady from the ’80s tells her story to the
young man’s aunt, and the aunt conveys the story to her nephew. The young man listens closely, and he too is
rejuvenated. The Lord knew both the lady and the young man could
not bear the thought of leaving this earth too soon, and how perfectly He fashioned His words to inspire. Romans 8:28
says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love
him, who have been called according to his purpose.” On Saturday we had a whole roomful of
inspired souls. And again we remember how the light the Lord shines into any one experience is for our sake and yet others as well.
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Medicaid & God
Medicaid. The word implies people. The word
implies money. Give, receive, need, want—somehow
there’s money involved. But is it
possible the Lord might enable someone’s enrollment with Medicaid, and the
reason would have little to do with money?
Here’s a story from my friend.
She has 5 children, her husband is self-employed, and they recently realized
they’re pregnant again. She dialed up Medicaid
to enroll for her pregnancy, but things didn’t fly too smoothly. One person said this, another person said
that, and as frustration built, she wondered how her scenario would ever solve. She asked the Lord to provide, and soon came
a call from Austin, which is big
headquarters in Texas for lots of
government offices. But she hadn’t been
talking to Austin before, so why
now? Who contacted Austin
on her behalf? It seems that God dialed
up Austin. This new lady on the phone broke through all
kinds of barriers, and the rigmarole that seemed impossible to overcome previously
was now moot. Yet of all the millions of
people enrolled in Texas Medicaid, why did my friend’s case find favor? When she has routinely been asked
in her pregnancies about a blood test for Down Syndrome, she has declined. With her Medicaid physicians, she has refused
that test that often becomes a determining factor for parents to abort their baby. My friend loves
her baby, and she’s giving birth to her baby and keeping her baby, so she sees no point in conducting that
Down Syndrome test. Perhaps that
testimony right there is why the Lord provided that unlikely phone call from Austin. The Lord loves life. Deuteronomy 30:19 tells us to choose life. God is forever bringing life to that which
appears dead, and He rejuvenates us again and again from circumstances we think will swallow us whole. I say it’s
entirely possible that the Lord could use my friend’s perspective on life to encourage people she'll meet through Medicaid. And what thrill to imagine the conversations the Lord might draw together to influence a mom or a
dad to keep their baby! So I pray for
that exact thing. Thank you, Lord, for
providing that phone call from Austin
for my sweet friend. May Your light shine
through her to attract conversation with patients and medical staff and any and all she will meet. May they experience Your
love and celebrate the births of their babies. May they know You as their Savior. Amen. Indeed we serve a powerful and gracious God who can use us anywhere on this earth for His purposes.
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
Moved beyond dialysis
Lately my body has felt on the edge of collapse. My bones have ached all over. One Saturday
I came close to falling asleep at the steering wheel, and it was scary to
imagine what could’ve happened at highway speed. I determined then to quit driving, I sought a new doctor, who in turn ordered some blood
tests, and my eyes have viewed life a little differently ever since. As I’ve sat at home and pondered much, the sweet
face of my friend who deals with dialysis has come to mind. Her uncomplaining smile speaks volumes for having
found contentment in the Lord. Longstanding
frailty has not imprisoned her; rather it has served to blossom in her an amazing
testimony. A failed kidney transplant, any
kind of steady job interrupted, many physical freedoms long gone, and still she
radiates a gracious spirit.
Her fatigue continues, as do her hospital stays, yet her presence
exudes testimony to the Lord’s strength within.
Three days a week she pulls open the door to the dialysis clinic, and when she arrives home afterward, it's like having worked a full-time job. This week the notion hit me to prepare her a care package, and I trust that the Lord gave the idea. A computer search of gift suggestions for dialysis patients turned up a sizable list, and I found immense joy in hoping to brighten her day. A fun striped blanket, some cute
colorful socks, new crossword puzzles, and some Skittles candy. A small gesture in comparison, yet pure
delight to anticipate giving. Had
the Lord not allowed my sickness and these days of immobility at home, I wouldn’t have the new insight for offering prayer on my friend's behalf. May the Lord bless her, and you, dear reader, and those opportunities when He uses us to inspire each other. My car may sit idle, but my heart has been moved.
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