Jonah & me

What to study next?  I didn’t know how God would answer.  One Sunday, a friend asked if I planned to attend a Going Beyond conference where Priscilla Shirer would be speaking.  My friend mentioned Priscilla’s name in a way that compelled me to inquire about her Bible studies.  I pulled up the Internet to learn more, and I looked into her books and viewed her teaching style.  Sure enough, my small group has been using her book Jonah.  Though I did not attend the conference, the fact that my friend mentioned it did prompt me to inquire further.  Of the whole realm of topics to study and oodles and oodles of available books, the Lord pointed me to Jonah and this particular writing that fits our unique group. … When we pray, we can be illusioned into thinking we’re tossing up blind requests with no certainty of where they’ll land.  Yet God is not a distant Father.  Unlike that cartoon of lost luggage forever orbiting the earth, our prayers do not float aimlessly.  The Lord receives each one, and He is attentive to our prayer (1 Peter 3:12). 

Prayers in the parking lot

One friend prayed for me through the open window of our car.  Another friend prayed as we stood in the parking lot.  Still another friend persevered to pray as we dripped in the sweat of 100^o heat.  Suddenly I realized the presence of God.  My brain had been on overload for days and weeks.  Too many ideas tossing around.  I was on the edge of crying and possibly erupting.  “Lord, help me see Your path clearly.  Put my feet in place.”  The where, when, and how of multiple who’s and what’s were all jumbled in my head.  Work, music, Bible study.  Hospitals, shelters, coffeehouses.  Buses, magazines, bookstores, blog, old video, and new video.  Storytelling and speaking, and oboe, piano, and singing.  Current book, new book, and flitting notions of theater.  And none of these things were bad.  They were just all firing at the same time, and it felt frantic.  In the onslaught of ideas, I was too scattered even to decide whether to have turkey or ham for lunch. Very unusually, I had opted out of the sermon that morning in favor of reading the Bible outside, as even amidst the church setting I typically love, I somehow wanted some one-on-one time with God.  I sought the purity of His voice uninterrupted.  I had prayed.  I had asked others to pray.  And now I stood in the midst of blessing.  The Lord had sent comfort in the form of friends.  He enlisted power in the form of prayer—both in English and in Spanish.  I soon also read some of John MacArthur’s Anxious for Nothing, which is unusual because I ordinarily go straight to the Bible, but I assume the Lord had an intermediary in mind this time.  MacArthur pointed me to the Psalms and Hebrews 11, which continues to ease my heart days later with the reminder that God does reward when we earnestly seek Him.  To find calm within a storm is no small feat, and I give thanks.

Uphill in Chiapas

“If I don’t come back, just know I’m with the Lord.”  That’s what our team leader said.  Rain had made our road muddy.  Our vehicles could not carry the 30 of us, plus our equipment, to the top of the hill.  Our wheels sank in the mud, and in the vast darkness we could not determine a route to walk.  Only one path seemed open, and a somber tone hovered throughout.  Our leader declared he would seek help alone, directing us to follow orders of his second in command.  Danger was imminent, as this was Zapatista territory, and we had met opposition already.  One man that morning was not happy about our request to cross his land in order to visit our small church, though he did eventually grant us permission.  Now our medical clinic had finished for the day.  We had folded up the tarps and tables and cots and our makeshift dental chair from Home Depot.  We had repacked our many tubs of medicine and supplies for doctoring.  The concrete slab of the church building would provide dry ground for our wait.  We prayed for our leader’s safekeeping, and streams of tears ran down my face to realize the seriousness of it all.  For those who chose to sing, their lyrics now offered a deeper hope that filled the room possibly serving as our sleeping quarters till daylight.  We could recount our days together:  puppet shows that entertained all ages, preaching that compelled many, and clinics that drew people to walk for hours to find medical care.  To my amazement, I felt no fear that night.  I wondered if in the United States we would be as compassionate as the church hosts who sweetly stayed beside us those late hours.  Our leader did return, and with immense thankfulness we realized the Lord’s great power to protect.  With some big flashlights now, we unloaded the medical supplies we had just finished packing and walked them piece by piece up the hill in order to reduce the carrying weight of our vehicles.  Back and forth we traipsed, and the Lord did give our empty vehicles passageway to the top, despite the mud.  In a few hours, we were asleep in the city, unconcerned till the next day that our stomachs were starting to growl for food.  I loved the Lord for His wonderful care of us, and I had caught a glimpse of Him at work in Mexico.

On the fly, but not really

I like to feel prepared.  I like to feel equipped for the job.  Yet I often land in the opposite circumstance.  God keeps giving me things I don’t know how to do and things I don’t want to do.  The Lord called me to teach school, and He gave me a choir class.  I’d taken some education courses for teaching English, but here came music.  I’d never officially studied voice, and I took piano lessons only a short time in elementary school.  Soon I found myself to be the only piano player within miles, and I had several ensembles with complicated accompaniments and still more high school solos sprouting around.  And as for teaching English, though I did have some training, English wasn’t even close to being my favorite subject.  On top of that, writing can be painfully laborious for me, and I’m a slow reader.  When the Lord called me to publish a book, I had to dive into a new world that didn’t look attractive.  I knew little about publishers and even less about the details of formatting and illustration and cost.  Unconfident of my own writing, I hesitated.  Each of these scenarios required prayer and patience and practice, and all 3 go against the human grain.  I love to learn, but it’s different when somebody besides me assigns the task.  Maybe for a change, I’d like to choose the what, when, and how.  But truthfully, when I step back to view the whole picture, I love letting God lead.  His projects have bigger scope and greater blessing.  In actuality, I am prepared for the tasks He gives me.  The Lord gives lots of on-the-job training.  With each new task, I’m mentally fatigued at first to realize I’m headed down another new road, but then I realize my role is still primarily to know Him.  He will order the steps.  Know the Lord through the Bible, and pray.  Be patient, and stay alert.  It’s not a formula but rather His way of letting me live out my faith.  I’ve experienced Him transforming my anxiety and fear into peace.  He has changed my dread into eager anticipation.  Even if I feel like I’m flying loosely into new situations, I’m actually prepared.  My preparedness is in knowing Him.  Proverbs 3:5-6

The invitation

People could yell at me.  They could think I’m weird.  They could slap me in the face for mentioning the name of Jesus Christ.  Plenty of people hated Jesus then, and plenty of people hate His name now.  But there’s blessing in offering an invitation.  The possibility of someone’s life being saved outweighs the risk of any flak flying my way.  When I invite friends to study the Bible, sometimes they decline.  But a sense of contentment comes with inviting.  Sometimes we’re the first link in the chain.  We invite people who come, and then they invite a subsequent group of friends who come.  Once my husband invited a neighbor to church.  The neighbor didn’t come.  Then a second invitation and a third.  When our neighbor eventually visited church, I felt like a party was happening in my heart.  Really the thrill was for the neighbor’s sake, though I was dancing too.  One time a friend came with me to Bible study.  She saw a poster on the wall and asked, “What’s that?”  The poster spelled the name Jesus.  It registered with me that this friend asked what, not who.  And consequently, may I never take invitations lightly.  We wonder, “What if people get mad?”  “What if they say ‘No’?”  Are we more concerned with pleasing God or pleasing people?  There’s validity in both, but which takes priority?  I should be able to hear the word no.  Actually much is revealed about us in the way we handle the word no.  I’m ready for the worst and hopeful for the best. 

A quest toward Spanish

God sent me a friend.  Maybe you’re thinking, What’s the big deal?  Doesn’t everybody have friends?  The big deal was the timing.  I sat in my little blue cloth-covered chair at church and felt frustrated by my inability to understand the Spanish language.  Even as recently as the previous week the Lord gave me enough Spanish to converse with a college student at a bus transit center, so certainly I had vivid recollection of how He meets needs, yet somehow this Sunday I still fell victim to frustration.  Temptation took hold, and I was almost in tears.  But hold on a minute because here comes my friend.  I pictured the Lord saying, “Hang on, Linda.  I’m sending help.  I’m sending you a friend with a sweet smile and kindness that overflows.  She’ll guide you in your learning of Spanish, and you’ll even get to sing with her “Dame Tus Ojos,” which I know you’ve wanted to do.”  And what happened was really quite amazing.  As soon as our pastor offered a closing prayer, up the aisle walks my friend.  Yes, I already knew her.  Yes, I would enjoy talking with her any day of the week.  But because my heart did hurt and my brain was on overload, all the more I welcomed this friend’s footsteps in my direction.  I had felt lost in the language that surrounded me, and the Lord sent me a lifeline.  On this day, His timing was impeccable once again.  Hardly did I have the presence of mind to pray, yet how prompt was His rescue.  “Dame Tus Ojos” [Give Me Your Eyes] held new application, as He set my eyes on His provision.

Do I have to go?

Do Christians have to go to church?  It’s a longstanding question.  I answer here from the perspective of blessing.  Basically, church can wear me out, but for good reason.  With church comes an excitement I love that can lead to a Sunday afternoon nap.  One particular Sunday morning, the Lord poured blessings through the song “Amazing Grace.”  How many thousands of renditions of the song have been offered over the years?  God designed this one for guitar and oboe within a small congregation.  We were solely instrumental at first, joined later with lyrics.  The Lord planted the idea for this instrumental version months ahead, as we sorted through earlier attempts to play the song and found it unfitting until this particular Sunday.  As the traditional melody floated through some ad libs here and there, I looked for the Lord.  He adjusted my embouchure to compensate for my lack of warmup between venues.  He led my fingers to notes on the oboe that blended with my husband’s on the guitar.  He gave flexibility to our group in watching for cues to wait or move ahead.  Within one heart, particularly mine, in maybe less than 15 minutes, the Lord blessed in multiple ways.  Over all, He showed how He prompts an idea and carries it through.  Regularly I ask Him to sing through my oboe, and though I don’t play so much anymore and I’ve lost much of the technique I used to have, He gives a sense of His presence in the resonance through the horn.  Experiences like this are invigorating.  Put together a morningful of blessings that seem to stretch the heart to a new capacity, and sometimes it’s almost too much to handle.  Sometimes I wonder if my knees will buckle and I’ll melt under the weight of blessing.  Yet why would I want to live without blessings that so wonderfully impact my whole being?  Am I forced to attend church?  No.  But God blesses immensely through the church.  Not every Christian has the physical means to travel to a church’s meeting place.  But if you can travel, I encourage all to ask the Lord to lead you.  It’s not a matter of checking an attendance box.  I hope you’ll attend because you want to know the Lord in the midst of the church.  I’ve prayed for you already.

Prayer & a party hat

I’d been wondering about a certain verse.  Knew it was in the Bible but not sure where.  I asked God to show me the verse.  One afternoon my eyes spotted it in the midst of Matthew’s fourth chapter.  Verse 4 says, “… Man does not live on bread alone…”  Seems endless the number of times I’ve heard that quote.  How many food companies have adapted it for their advertisements?  How many motivational speeches have included it?  Yet the portion often quoted is not the complete sentence.  Jesus says, “It is written:  ‘Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”  Similar words are in Deuteronomy 8:3.  Tangible, edible bread contributes to our physical survival, but our ultimate sustenance, our ultimate need for all aspects of life, is the Word of God.  The wisdom in the verse is a blessing.  But now we look beyond the verse.  Remember I asked God to show me this verse in the Bible?  He did answer my prayer.  That’s a BIG DEAL because it means He listened to the request of an ordinary girl in an ordinary place.  We’re all ordinary, and can’t we be glad the Lord hears the common man?  We often fill the air with our requests of God, but what about our thank-you’s?  Do we offer thank-you’s and celebrate with Him?  When God answers a prayer, it’s time for a party!  Don’t talk yourself out of the great joy we should take in realizing an answer to prayer.  It’s huge news!  Put on one of those pointy party hats with the stretchy band under the chin.  Celebrate with the Lord first.  Include Him at the top of the party list.  Bake the cake, and expect Him at the front door.  He provides our bread and answers our prayers, and how cool is that!

A new idea, but now what?

A new and exciting idea floats through the brain, and we can be eager to use it.  Why wait?  Back in 1995 as I curled up on the sofa to read one of Jack London's many, the Lord gave me an astounding experience that let me know I would do some writing about slavery.  Though intimidated at first, I did want to stay attuned to the idea of writing.  I dabbled around with it a bit.  In 2002, I quit teaching school to allow some concentrated writing time.  In 2010, I published a book, though on a different subject.  All this to say the initial idea to write prompted much prayer over a period of many years.  Yet on a different occasion when God gave me the idea to teach homebound students, I was quickly on the job in less than a month.  It also was many years from the time the idea of jail ministry first caught my interest up to the December afternoon in 2009 when a phone call with a chaplain appeared to formally connect all the dots.  And one idea that’s still in progress is last summer’s notion to make a video to accompany my bus book.  I’ve seen a few puzzle pieces connect, though many questions remain, and I continue to seek the Lord’s guidance.  To jump in and buy a camera and spend hours and days putting a video together doesn’t seem the thing to do, at least not yet.  Sometimes our new idea is God’s preview of what is to come.  In our waiting, He prepares us, maybe connecting us with people in certain circumstances to accomplish His larger purpose.  One aspect of Christian living that absolutely thrills my heart is realizing how one blessing, perhaps one answer to prayer, is really only a portion of a whole set of blessings all delicately and lovingly designed by God to touch many, many people.  And because God works in infinite ways, what about those occasions when He calls us to act quickly, when not every new idea is a years-ahead preview?  Suddenly our constant prayer and study of the Bible become all the more important.  I want to know God all the while, before and during and after each new idea, asking Him to make my decisions His.  Lord, is this new idea from You?  Don’t let me get carried away with it simply out of my own enjoyment.  Keep me waiting till You deem the time best.  Lead my decisions.

A retreat at the cross

We had a whole slew of differences.  We had a gymnastics coach, an interpreter for the deaf, and a tree trimmer and a fence builder.  We had a hair stylist, a production manager, a history professor, and a guitar salesman.  Few knew the same occupation.  We studied, we sang, we prayed and told stories of God.  We played ping pong, dominoes, charades, and ate loads of brownies and popcorn.  All the while, the Lord knitted people together.  Some of us arrived without knowing each others’ names.  And as we spent time together, our roles did occasionally change.  The gymnastics coach led line-dancing for those who wanted to twirl while they sang.  Our friend who was trained as a social worker became an on-the-spot marriage counselor.  Our science teacher became a dramatist.  Some speakers became listeners.  Our differences became likenesses as we served each other.  We heard how our friend who had been a drug addict found peace through knowing Christ.  We heard how one friend had once preferred aloneness but now found the company of people enjoyable and helpful.  One who had felt outcast was blessed to find acceptance now.  And I’m pretty sure none of us knew that our friend who is blind had an enjoyment for playing drums, and the fact that he felt the freedom to pick up the sticks to play with the band that night inspired us all.  …  The Lord has all kinds of reasons for bringing people together.  Those unemployed by society’s standards can be wonderfully employed by the Lord—no paycheck required.  Our cook may keep cooking.  Our teacher’s assistant may still work at a school.  Our nursing student may practice nursing for 30 years.  But no matter our formal training or lack thereof, the Lord has additional roles in mind.  The Lord loves to use people who are willing to follow Him and deny the what-if’s that torment the human brain when we don’t know the whole scope of a task.  He’s looking for people who will risk their human embarrassment to delve into a role He may not entirely reveal at the beginning.  He loves for us to commit to Him without looking at our bank accounts and for us to prioritize His desires higher than our own comfort.  We can find peace in knowing the Lord holds us in the palm of His hand, and His hand does not falter.  In fact, He has inscribed us on the palms of His hands (Isaiah 49:15).  Our common ground with people is the cross of Jesus Christ, and it’s exciting to see how God connects people with Him in mind.  More important than what we do is who we are as children of God.  Ours was a wonderful weekend retreat.